A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:One of my best friends has asked me to put plane tickets for her children to fly out to see her twice now-both times I have said yes, even though I don't really like it. The first time, the amount wasn't that high and I had the extra funds to pay off the credit card before interest accumulated, this last time, the amount was much higher (Christmas season) and I don't have enough to cover it all while I wait for her to pay me back. She did pay me in full for the first time, but this time she has asked to pay in installments so she can also purchase gifts for her children. So now, I am accumulating interest on this purchase.I have always been very careful with money and have never allowed my credit cards to collect interest. It bothers me a lot, but how could I say No when she had no other way to finance their trip?Part of the reason it bothers me is that her husband is essentially a mooch who is always between jobs and a lot of their poor financial situation is because of him.I know she's very appreciative and grateful and I'm happy to help out a friend, but I dislike paying interest on this. She'll pay me back, but no with the interest included...What can I do? Especially if she asks again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): I agree with most of the posters here but on a more practical note (as it sounds like you have already lent this money) can you open another credit card account?Some credit card companies offer free balance transfers with 0% interest on this balance where you could put your friends debt until it's paid off so you wouldn't accumulate interest.When the debt is paid you can simply close the account (or keep it for other times you need to use the balance transfer facility)Read the small print, though, when opening up this kind of account as there are sometimes pitfalls to avoid e.g. if you make one purchase on the card the interest rate on that purchase will be exorbitant and has to be paid on top of any regular payments being made.Just something to think about to help curb the resentment you currently feel for your friend.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 November 2013):
This isn't her fault, it's yours. You could have said that she needs to pay you back for interest, but you should have said you can't afford it.
There's a reason nobody else will lend her money!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2013):
 OMG. If you have to use a credit card to lend money, you do not have the money to lend! WHY are you using a credit card? Do you not have the power to say no to her???
If I don't have ready cash to lend, I say that I don't have it. Also, if you want to ruin a friendship, get money involved, and you'll eventually torch it. This isn't "can I borrow $5 because I forgot my wallet."
Her husband the mooch is her problem. She chose to leave her children. She made these choices, and you're insulating her from the consequences of these choices. If your friendship hinges on whether or not you are her ATM, then you don't really have the friendship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2013):
 Just be honest and tell her you simply can't afford it.
Those are HER children and HER job to save up for those trip, it's not like she doesn't know that Christmas comes in December.
Now if you don't really mind (and be honest) lending her the money, tell her what you ended up paying in interest to LEND her the money. Now if she doesn't suggest she will pay that too, then simply don't lend her money. YOU should not have to go in the "hole" to help her out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): Say something like, "Laura, I really don't mind helping you to pay for things that are important to you because they're important to me too. I also have full confidence that you will pay me back as you always do, but I'm having a hard time affording the bill myself because of the interest. The next time this happens, would you please consider that when you borrow again? I'd be glad to work out a fair payment plan with you."
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