A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in my first real and first gay relationship for over a year now. I love my boyfriend very much to the point I think sometimes too much.For the past few months our financial situation has blown to the point that debt collector's are coming to him. I feel so bad because I have not helped out (money) as much as I wish. I had suffered from some serious depression during the first year of our relationship due to a cyber friendship turned ugly. I fear my depression will return, these past few days I feel like I did before medication.. I don't feel suicidal just really depressed to the point I can't stop crying when I think about what is going on and how our relationship will go from here.The thought of going to bed and waking up without him, his breath on the back of my neck even his snoring has become a lullaby for me. I don't know how I will handle all this, just as I am sure he is probably thinking the same thing.He does not show emotion like I do, he tells me he loves me, he hugs me and says it will be alright but I don't feel it. I fear he will move on, realise that I am not the right person for him because I don't have a job and my anger problems when I get upset from the thoughts of my life problems.I am scared I won't know how to deal with this change, the thoughts are consuming my mind all the time.How do get use to moving back home, not having the same independence, dealing with all the above. I don't want to go on meds again, I want to be happy but it just never seems to happen for me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tsu  +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Ah, sounds like you're in a tight spot that no1 likes to be in, debt lol.
Well bro, 1st of all, let me remind ya, the key to happiness is nothing more than a state of mind!
I mean, seriously cmon now, don't worry to much about him leaving you, or what would happen if he left you, or past cyber reltionships gone bad.
What has happened, happened. Nothing you do, say, or think will change that. Ya gotta move on! Be mature and say to yourself, "The state of my life is nothing more than a reflection of my state of mind."
If you think sad stuff, hell it's obvious you'll become sad. So, think of what you DO have, you got a loving boyfriend, you're healthy, you got family and friends etc etc
I'm sure if your boyfriend didn't love you, he wouldn't be with you as long as he has. So when you're ready, and let him know when you are, help him out with the bills.
He's done so much for you, would you not want to do a lot for him?
So, seriously, sit down and let him know how much he means to you, how much you love him, apprecciate him, and how you are really working on your state of mind to become happier, and make the relationship grow. Oh and how once you have completed your training, you will help out with the bills.
So yea, that's my advice :) Good luck to you and your boyfriend
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