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female
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anonymous
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and had what i thought was a perfect relationship! but recently we've both come to the same university and he's told me he wants a break. i worked my hardest to make him want to keep me and it worked, but ive been hearing that hes made comments about other girls like "its hard at uni, especially when theres girls like THAT around" and i hate it! am i over reacting? he says its ok to do this to other girls and that he loves me and that its normal and hes acting fine with me but its really upseting me !he makes comments about other girls to my friends to and i just dont think its right please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Thankyou for all your answers :) i feel a bit clearer in my mind now on what i need to do !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): Dear if he will be with you only by changing yourself is it worth it?You are a whole package minuses and pluses all.I appreciate the effort you made to change yourself.But seems like he's demanding too much from you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhen i said want to keep me, let me re phrase that! it was a case of making the changes to myself that were bad and now are good, what he wanted!and im better for it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): If he's saying it to your freinds, he properly knows it's getting back too you and may be trying to wind you up or push you away. Guys can stay in serious relationships in Uni, my sister been with her goodlooking b/f for the three years of uni! BUT if he dosen't love you, if he's not in love with you then he obviously going to stray, you should have given up when he asked for a break, the fact you managed to trick him to stay into the relationship dosen't look good
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): Girls please note "i worked my hardest to make him want to keep me and it worked." I think they are together now. I am a bit confused now. Does he say things like "That girl is hot" or does he bitch about them?
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female
reader, Ladeeda  +, writes (9 October 2008):
Hearing how he said that he wants a break and you were able to keep him in the relationship is a big uh oh. Have you ever heard the phrase "If you love somthing let it go, if it comes back to you then it is yours, if it dosen't than it never really was" I know that is a very hard thing when you love a person so much, but maybe he really does need a break. The more you try and force a realtinship to work, the faster its going to fail. All of the comments about the girls im sure is just honesty. He feels tied down right now and even though I'm sure he loves you, he wants to experiene life. My advice, let him decide what he wants. Have a talk with him, and he if he wants to seperate, then I would say its a good idea. If he wants to stay together, then I would still give him some space and tell him how he talks about other girls hurts your feelings. I have been through this situation. In the end i was only hurting myself, but not excepting what was the truth. Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): I'm sorry to say, but it's always seemed bad when one person wants to take a 'break', and quite often it turns io a break-up. Also it seems insensitive of him to say that it doesn't matter when it obviously upsets you, but in the end, you know the most about your relationship, but it sounds like it may be coming to an end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): No you are not overreacting.If any of us girls had done it we would have been called a b**** wouldn't we?I honestly don;t know what name to call these guys.I don't talk about other people behind their back.Neither does my husband.We are especially careful not to speak about any girls wrongly even if we know that she has done something wrong.In our country Girl's reputations are like egg shells.Try taking a firm stand against such callous behavior.Try to tease him out of it because you would know his imperfections.When he speaks like this to your friends make a joke by saying "Ah!Here's Mr.perfect speaking about others".Its up to you to stop him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive spoken to him about it and he knows how i feel, if hes ever said anything when im there ive let him know im not happy, i just dont like how hes saying girls are hot to my friends behind my back when we're on the rocks and im putting my all in :( thanks for ur answer :)
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male
reader, Boredatwork +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Have you Spoken to him about this? It may just be a case of he said it once/Twice without you reacting to it, and he now thinks it dosnt bother you?IF you let him know it botheres you and he still continues to make the comments then hes not taking your feelings into consideration and maybe hes not the right one for you.Honesty and openness of feelings is the key to any relationship, if somthing botheres you talk to him about it, if he dosnt know it upsets you he wont have a reason to stop.HTH
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