A
female
age
41-50,
*urious26
writes:I have been seeing this guy for about a month but we have only hungout 3 times because he says he always has his daughter. I have never hungout with him on a weekend its always been on a Monday or Tuesday. We always just get take out n watch a movie at his place which I don't mind cuz I really liked him. Well it was his birthday Monday n I text him happy birthday with no reply back...we had talked last week about getting together this week. N so I didn't hear from him all week n I even called n left a message about getting my shoes from his place. He never called back. He finally text me friday n said he was in tahoe all week n that no phones were allowed he said that he would get my stuff back to me n that he would talk to me later. Well its saturday night now n he has yet to call me or text or anything. At this point I'm over it n just want my stuff. So I text him this am n said let me know when I can get my stuff n he didn't even reply. I need help I'm so confused about this guy right now...what is up with him??!! Why lie? If he's not interested why doesn't he tell me?! I just want my stuff...why is it taking him so long to get it back to me??? I even said he could leave it outside his door n he didn't even reply to that... Does he have a girlfriend? That's what I'm thinking now...
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female
reader, curious26 +, writes (7 March 2010):
curious26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the advice!!! I guess I only accepted getting takeout because he would always use the excuse that he was super tired from work n wanted to relax...I guess I was a littl nieve.... :/ maybe ill use this as an excuse to buy new shoes!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): You want to say you are over the guy but miss the shoes :)
If it is really about a pair of shoes, you can surely live without them for another, week, month or forever.
Leave him alone. He's not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (7 March 2010):
 Oh honey! So this guy never even actually took you out for a real date!? Why? Because he knew he didn't have to! These types of guys are to be avoided. I hope to God that you didn't have sex with him. In the future if a man is really interested in YOU he will take you out on a proper date. Hanging out at his house eating take out is not dating. As women we are to demonstrate to men how we want to be treated. If you accept the few crumbs he was thowing you then you can't expect to be treated better than that. Does what I am saying make sense to you.
What a cad! At this point just stop contact him about your shoes and chalk this up to experience. It's really not about the shoes anyway. And yes he probably does have a girlfriend and you constantly texting him about your "shoes" has become a bit of an annoyance.
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 My best bet would be, he is busy right now with something as a potential partner as you so that is why he is putting you on hold.
I have experienced same thing with my recent ex and my gut feeling was always right. They just wont tell you to get lost coz they don't like that you go away and forget them. They wont promise you anything either coz you'd become clingy and commit yourself to them when they don't really want that with you.
In short, they just want to use you and will want you when they need you only. Period. And you allow them too, so they think its just ok with you.
Before you get badly wounded..get out of this. Really, if I had only listened to the people who cared enough for me..if only I can turn back the time...i will do it very differently.
I was in a position before to refuse this but I was hard headed. I learned my lesson..
Message me if you need to talk.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 I don't know what is happening here but I do know that he is not treating you at all well. If he went on business to Tahoe it would have been common courtesy to text you as the bare minimum. Right now I would leave him alone and accept that you are going to get your stuff back but not immediately. There is obviously a lot more going on than you are privy to maybe stuff over the daughter, the ex, money, his job, it is too great to guess at. Really leave him alone. If you hear nothing after a week go round there on a Monday or a Tuesday and get your belongings with a family member or friend so there can be no trouble on either side. You haven't invested a lot of time with this chap so you haven't wasted your time. I would also want my stuff back immediately but it isn't going to be that way because he won't answer or respond so leave him be for a while. He may not be answering your calls because he is guilty and doesn't know what to say, is away again, is tired, is avoiding confrontation, I don't know but for whatever reason he isn't calling or responding so let him be.
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