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I just gave my bf my first blowjob and it was horrible! Now he wants me to do it again-what should I do?

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Question - (13 February 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *NLOVEFOREVER! writes:

I just had oral sex for the 1st time it was horrid and my boyfriend wants me to do it again...should i or not..im scerd if i say no he will dump me...but im in love with him and i dont want to lose him over not sucking his dick..what should i do..please help

xxIMLOVEFOREVER!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007):

i think u should just try again whats the worst tat could happen

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2007):

Also, i tried to send you a message but it wouldnt work. I was going to say that you dont have to put him entirely in your mouth if it makes you want to throw up (lol). Apparently most of the sensations in the tip of the penis anyway. So just focus on that part.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2007):

First off, if you DEFFINATELY dont want to do it again. Then DONT. But, practise makes it easier and although i dont like it much i enjoy it sometimes. I just make sure everything is on MY terms. Also, dont do it if he doesnt offer it in return. If you decide you dont want to do it he will have to deal with it, or you will have to leave him. DONT let him pressure you to do anything you dont want, because the more you give in to things you dont want to do, the more he will want you to do and the demands may get worse. But, if you decide that you are going to work on it, you will find ways that make it easier for you. Also, you dont have to have the entire thing in your mouth or swollow. Like i said, if you do decide to work on it make sure you get oral sex from him to.

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A male reader, moomoomoo United States +, writes (13 February 2007):

moomoomoo agony auntkinda obvious everyone will say no you dont have to if you dont want to. if it really is only the swalloing part you dont like, just dont swallow and he'll still like having the oral... and by the way, most guys do like it. if our peers found out a guy didnt like a bj, they'd freak and call him gay or something. anyways still, i think you should do as you feel and dont give all the power to your boyfriend.. ask him to do things for you

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (13 February 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntIt was horrid for YOU? As in, you didn't like it? I'm not being a jerk, I just wasn't very sure if it was horrid for you or you thought he didn't like it.

If you think by saying "no" he'll dump you, well, he's not a very nice guy. And I don't think he's worth your time if you think he's going to dump you over something as trivial as oral sex.

I agree with Dr. John, I think you need to sit down and tell him you want to take it slower and that you're still a little uncomfortable with his "junk", if you will. If you want to figure out how to get more comfortable with him and his "junk", you need to spend some quality time with it. That's how I got used to oral sex. Getting familiar with my boyfriends penis. Touching it, getting near it, etc. Then it was easier to love up on it. Also, if you do it again - do it right after you get out of the shower so it's nice and clean.

If you really just DESPISE doing it and you never want to do it again, talk to your boyfriend. If he does break up with you, well - that proves how little he actually cares and you can do wayyyy better than him. He should love you much more than that. Oral sex isn't essential in a relationship. Love, trust and mutual respect is.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A female reader, LISAG +, writes (13 February 2007):

LISAG agony auntI can only guess, from my own experience that the part that you didnt like was probably the swallowing part! If you did ? Men do love it if you do swallow, it equates for them total acceptance - but it's not easy by any means for us women, it sort of burns the back of your throat and is gloopy and feels like the last thing you want to swallow ! What is good to keep in mind is if you are that bothered about him you will allow this act, which is very very intimate and men love the idea that women "love to swallow" mad I know - like as if they'd swallow it themselves !!!!!! We'd all rather swallow ice cream eh? Truth is though, if you dont really like it - and no woman really can honestly lay claim to "loving it" (altho Im not too sure seeing pornos - but then the women are being paid big bucks and acting !) , you dont have to do it! I REPEAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO. But you can find is totally a turn on in time. I turned a point in my life when "swallowing" turned sexy cause one of my female freinds told me how much it turned her on! It made me think. But I was about 25 yrs old when I noted this fact and it only turned me on since then. I def cant say I dont like it - I sort of take it as a compliment - but I would only give it to someone who I was in love with. Dont ever do something just because a man loves it. Get to your own place and ony do things when you actually enjoy them... ie. giving him so much pleasure - it please's you ! You are Number ONE always - never carry on with something just cos others make you think its the right way. Make your own mind up !And up to 25 I had plenty of b/fs and not one of them had a bj cos I didnt like that then - they still stuck around though - personality is more important - men are in fact more interested in personality then blow jobs - alho bjs and sex come a close second !!!!

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A female reader, kayleighere United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2007):

I think some girls like it and some dont. i no i don't, a majority of boys do like and entertain the idea. it does take a long time to get used to. but if you dont want to try it again, dont! sit him down and explain to him that you need to work at your own pace to get used to the idea, if he loves you he will understand!!

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (13 February 2007):

Dr. John agony auntYou may need some time to get used to the idea of oral sex.

Some never get used to the idea.

I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that you need to take it a little slower in that area. He should understand. If not, he has little regard for you or your feelings.

In any case talk to him about it and go from there. Doc.

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