A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I just feel like giving up... I have no money, no idea what want as a career, no boyf. I'm crashing on my mates floor and I'm about to turn 30! All I want is to meet someone lovely and buy a house and settle down and have kids! I mean what's wrong with me. Yes had hard life, but I'm pretty so been told, went to uni and got degree, been travelling round the world! I know that I had chances! the only two men I've ever had hope of settling with are both in serious relationships. One I loved from 19 and always thought we'd be together, his got girlf pregnant and being 30 himself decided to stay with her and do family thing! I am devastated! Then the other man also 30 I was with him and was perfect but because of other one I pushed him away! I know his perfect my soulmate... Just didn't realise it till too late. Now year later his getting married and very happy. I tried to get back but it will never happen! Everyday I cry over fact I'm alone and what lost. On top of it I changed careers in sept to try teaching so moved miles away to do a pgce but I dislike it. Not for me! So going back to pr next month if can. At 30 I'm single, jobless and have no money and sleeping on floor of mates! I'm miserable as I think I'm never going to be settled and meet anyone and every day I'm just getting more depressed. I'm pretty and clever but I still never meet any men! Life is hard and I wish I could turn back time and not pushed the man away or given up my job in PR and come to 300 miles away to teach when happy before.
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female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (30 November 2010):
 I really feel for you hun. It sounds like you are really struggling right now. It must be very hard being on your own and seeing your past loves getting married when you thought you would be together.
And also finding out you are not suited to teaching when you've given up so much to do the pgce must be really difficult.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. These things can happen. It's not your fault, you've been trying your best but things havn't workd out how you hoped. But that doesn't mean things won't get better.
You sound like an interesting, smart, young woman who has travelled around the world. You have so much going for you. I know it must be difficult to be in your situation but I don't think it is bad to be single at your age. You have a clean slate, you can do anything you want to.
If either of those guys were deserving of you, they would have made a move ages ago and asked you to marry them.But they didn't so neither of them is right for you. You are a great person and you deserve someone who appreciates who you are.
Ok so teaching isn't right for you. At least you know that now. It hasn't been a waste of time because now you can look back and say, ok I know for sure that teaching isn't right for me because I tried it. There will be something else out there that will be right for you, and for that matter there will be another man out there as well. It is a huuuge world out there, so there will be better situations and a better job and a man who will absolutly love being your husband.
I know at the moment it might seem hopeless, but you have to try to believe things will get better. Do you remember a time when you felt really depressed? Do you have happier memories since then and good experiences? This will happen again. It is hard to believe this when you are down, but it is true.
Life is not measured on how many boxes you have ticked, ie, house-check, children-check, husband-check, leather sofa-check etc. Life is the experiences we have and the love we feel for people we have in our lives. Try to take care of yourself and have good times with your friends. I know it may sound cliche but you don't need a man to make you happy, you just need yourself and good friends. The happier you are in your own life, the more positive people you pull around you. But there will always be people who love you, so try to remember that when you are really low. And take good care of yourself, be kind to yourself and do what you need to do to be happy and fulfil what you want in life.
All the best.
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