A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 2.5 years now and I'm not in love with my husband anymore. In fact, I was never or am attracted to him and now it's really affecting our marriage. I did love him and married him because he made me feel so special and that i was the luckiest woman in the world. But ever since we got married, things started going downhill!! He has a very short temper and we fight alot! Even though he has tried to change and things have gotten alot better, I'm still so resentful towards him. I just can't get myself to love him the way i should anymore. Honestly, I think I've made a mistake of marrying him. I have been really "cold" to him on and off and he gets really mad every time I don't let him kiss or hug me which I totally understand. I know I shouldn't do this because he is still so good to me and loves me to death!! I don't know what to do and I'm afraid to talk to him about this because of his short temper, and also i know it would kill him. And we have alot of debts still and I'm still unemployed!! Thank goodness that we don't have any kids yet because it'd just make matter worse!!
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female
reader, Iris7124  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 i swear u just explained my life. i know its hard. i feel the same way about my husband. the only thing different is that i do have kids, so its alot harder for me to leave. i have other issues in my life that make it more difficuly, but just wanted to let u know, ur not alone. i am pretty much going through the exact same thing. i left my husband back in oct for a week and i saw how it broke him. i know he loves me, but the resentment that u have towards ur husband i have towards mine and its hard for me to talk to him too as he gets angry and makes me feel stupid for even bringing it up. i am a housewife as of recently, and he feels like i should have no complaints because im at home all day. ugh...i can go on and on. im sorry u are going through this. the only advice i can really give u is to keep ur head up. do alot of soul searching and maybe some couseling. maybe ull find it easier to tell him how u feel in front of a mediator someone who can control the situation. ur not alone. keep smiling. happy new year...
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (1 January 2009):
 If your feling like this after 2 and a half years i would say something is not right maybe the change in him i.e. short temper is something you never saw before you married him many people go into marriages and not always knowing what they are truly like! but we live and learn and get to know them and usually over a period of time we love them more and more but this seems to be the opposite for you and i wonder if you went into this marriage not too sure?
If you feel so unhappy that you want out and feel there is now way you can save this marriage then i'd say you will have to think long and hard here about a few things especially the debt if it is joint then can you afford to walk whilst still owing? Plus you say your hubby loves you to death is he aware of how you are truly feeling? I would be talking to him in great depth about all this because to be fair to him he may be unaware of you feeling as you do so talk with him discuss all the things that are making you unhappy tell him your uncomfortable with his short temper and the fights you have i am sure you can work through these issues with the time and effort put in i always tell people to give it another go before throwing in the towel and i feel you have to at least try then you can say well i tried!! take care.
Gina
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A
male
reader, roadman +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Well for a start you sound like you need some space apart thats the 1st step,2nd you need to let him really know how you feel and that your sick and tired of the fighting,writing to him as you have done here is also a great start,,,in this case if it was me I'd put some distance between you,then take up the talks in text..
If you both find it hard to talk with out rage then writing is very a handy way to continue.
If your no longer in love then the marrage will need to be down graded to a friendship and feelings given time to die before you move on to your next victim..
If you work on this process for 6 months to a year it will die down peacefully.If he loves you that much he needs to give you space and continue to support you or he will lose out totally,the key to this problem is getting him to understand and learn to respect your feelings towards him in this time..
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A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (1 January 2009):
 This relationship is unlikely to last if you don't get counselling soon.
He needs help for "anger control". You don't have to spend the rest of your life being afraid to say what you think because you're scared of his temper.
Make sure you don't bring kids into this until you've sorted out the problem.
If he won't get professional help, leave him.
I know it's not an easy decision to make, but life is too short for putting up with this kind of relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): Hi honey,
listen i found myself in a very similiar situation, i highly reccomend u sort this out fast, i didnt and ended up having an affair, bad idea! im now riddled with guilt because it wasnt till i realised what i might lose that i realised how much i do love my husband. You need to sit amd talk openly, something i wish i did. Dont end up like me being riddled with guilt, take care xox
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