A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, we were high school sweethearts, and after our first year of college decided to give it a break. After 2 weeks of being sad and lonely my friend and I decided to go out and party a bit and let loose. I met a nice guy at the club and ended up going home with him and we actually spent the weekend together. Being with another guy was strange, but the sex was amazing and we seem to really hit it off. Fast forward three weeks, we hooked up a few more times, but he does not want a relationship, and thats fine, he sure was not the one... Last night my friend asked me if I enjoyed being with Shane, (the new guy) and she was laughing a little. I was asking whats so funny and she is like I can't tell you, your not gonna believe me. Finally she explains that Shane is a known player and use to do porn when he was younger. I could not believe it, and i feel used and violated. My friend was like no big deal, the sex was good right... Now the problem is all my girlfriends seem to know I hooked up with a former porn star, and Im just another notch on his long belt. But heres the real problem, my ex and i have been talking and we both realized how much we miss eachother, and he wants to get back together, but if he finds out that I hooked up with this guy he is never going to want me back, and I can't blame him. I think Im just going to tell him and hope for the best, I dont know what else to really do. And yes, Shane and I used protection, thank God, cause I now found out he has been with well over 150 women. I feel a little sick with nerves about this...
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male
reader, jackinthebox474 +, writes (28 August 2009):
aint nothing you can do now, if your ex loves you he will take you back. If not, his loss.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Tell him or not? I think it depends on what you have left him believing as it is. We can say, "you were broken up so you had the right to screw anyone you wanted to" but we all know it's not that simple. Have you stayed in enough contact with your ex since the breakup that he will be assuming he knows that you haven't slept with anyone else? If this is the case and you know it would bother him, then I think you owe it to him to come clean about it. You would be totally hiding behind a technicality to keep it from him if this is the situation.But if things were totally broken off between you and him for a few weeks and you honestly don't think he was asssuming you kept your pants on that whole time, then don't tell him unless you want to. I would just tell him either way. It sounds like it's not really gonna stay hidden from him for very long either way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): To be honest, your ex is your ex, and it's none of his business what you do or don't do, but do what YOU feel like doing!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Please do not go back to your ex. you will just screw up again. seems like you enjoyed your freedom a bit too much therefore you don't want to confess the truth. Well your bf will soon find out the truth anyways since everyone else knows that you were doing it like rabbits, with the porn star. You know girls, they just cannot keep their big mouths shut, especially when they have juicy news to spread. As for just feeling sick, well you just have to stomach it, thats all. Next time, screen your lovers beforehand. I think you have been spoilt therefore the bf would not want to have anything more to do with you. Seems like the casual hooking up may become the norm for you if you are not careful. You moved from one man to the next with such ease.........becareful of this loose behaviour. this may just be your downfall.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): lazyguy has a point there.. but whatever you decide, i think you should definitly tell your ex the truth. lying wont get you anywhere, and its almost inevitable that he will find out anyway. people always do? its better if it comes from you. and as for feeling like another notch on shanes bed post.. thats how you're bound to feel. but it has happened and you never knew what he was like at the time, so he isnt worth your worries. just be careful you arent simply running back to what you know as safe (that would be going back to your ex) and make sure its because you do actually want to be with him, as lazyguy said, because that wouldnt be fair on your ex. like i said though i think you should tell your ex the truth. good luck. AAJ.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Well you certainly didnt miss your BF too much if youu had this amazing weekend with the stud just two weeks into your breakup.Own what you did. Your BF probably wouldn't take you back, but its HIS decision to make, not YOURS! Be honest and let him make his own choice instead of selfishly hiding this like its a bad movie of the week.Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our actions. I suggest you grow up and not be with anyone, because you are not mature enough to be in any kind of relationship.You made your bed, now sleep in it (Pffft!)
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Just consider carefully wether you actually want to hook back up with him. You were a couple for a long time but it didn't take you very long to get involved with sex for the sake of sex.
Are you sure you didn't get scared and are now running back to what is familiar?
It is a little to neat, girl breaks up with her bf, finds the big world a bit scary and realizes what she has missed. I am skeptical.
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