A
male
age
30-35,
*inkMan
writes:For the past two years I have failed to ask a single girl out and need to know how to overcome my fear. I really want to be able to approach attractive women that I don't know, but I feel terrified and worried about what to say.I'm afraid that not only will they reject me, but that they will somehow brand me as a loser and I'll never meet anybody.This also reflects in my friendships, my friends are exclusively male and although I know lots of women, I have never had a female friend. What I mean by that is, no women have ever showed an interest in spending time with me other than when we happen to be in the same place. I have all these negative experiences of women being distant to me and keeping me at an arms length that I think there is something wrong with me. I feel like if I disappeared none of them would notice.I'm at a catch-22, I know I need confidence to get a girlfriend but my past experiences with women have all been negative so I lose confidence.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 If you were a salesman, you would get rejected nine times out of every ten. And the one person who would give you the time of day wouldn't necessarily buy. Such is life.
If you don't keep trying, then you will never have anyone.
See it as a mental exercise: analyze why they reject you. Maybe you're doing something wrong.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 May 2012):
 No other way to get over it than just risk it and ask. I used to be the exact same as you, but if I like someone, I'll just ask, I've been rejected before, wasn't the end of the world, you just carry on life as normal...
'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take' - Wayne Gretzky
So in other words, if you like someone, just ask them if they want to hang out sometime, if they say no, then unlucky, but you move on. I still wouldn't say I'm 100% confident with women, but when you realise you'll be asking 'what if' for a long time, that will more than likely spur you into action.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 May 2012):
 If you don't ask ANYONE out you won't get a yes either.
If you get rejected try again. You can't let one or two or TEN failures stop you.
Maybe get some tips from your friends or from some of the females you know.
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