A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm just really confused and think I'm depressed.I think a little background information would help with my actual question. I was friends with benefits with my best friend for about 8 months and then a few weeks ago we just stopped because he started talking to another girl and he wanted a relationship but I'm too afraid of it. It was only oral sex, I gave him head. He would always try to do stuff to me but I was too shy. Anywho, this girl he's been talking to has been talking to me too because she knew he and I were really close, but not *THAT* close. I understand the kid so well and I just want him to be happy. He and this girl have been having problems and I've been helping them out so much, I've been making them work. It hurts so much. I'm in love with this kid, but I know he would never consider me to date because I'm not hot. (He's implied it) It's just been the past week that I've been helping them a lot and this past week I've been having terrible sleeping habits. I wake up every hour and each time I fall back asleep I have a different, crazy weird dream. I've had one where my best friend and that girl he's talking to were all at the mall. Not too strange. But then I had one where my best friend, the guy and I were all naked in my bed and he was trying to rape my best friend and I didnt do anything but get sad that he didn't want to do anything to me and she just took it, didn't enjoy it but didn't hate it. Then I like took his dick and placed it in me and he just looked at me. It was just a weird dream to me and I don't know how to interpret it. Also, I've been really sad lately and on the verge of crying all the time and feel so frustrated and I just want to get high. Another dream! (all of these dreams are just from last night, I woke up 5 times) I had a dream that the guy and I were in his car with his friend I don't really talk to all smoking a HUGE joint. I mean like totally dream-like joint, like a 5 in diameter, like so unrealistic lol, but yah. I don't know how to interpret any of my dreams. Please tell me what you think, I feel like I'm going insane ):[Mod note to the OP: Thank you for writing to DC, however, to make it more reader friendly, could you in the future break down your posting into several shorter paragraphs - as we have done here for you? Thank you]
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best friend, depressed, friend with benefits, oral sex, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): Sounds like he's been using you and insulting you at the same time. Also sounds like you have low self - esteem and just want to fit in somewhere or be appreciated/loved somewhere, so even though you don't want to, you are helping these people out with their relationship, even though you wish you could be with the guy.
I think you should avoid both of these people and get some new friends.
The joint dream - you wish you could just forget about these people and not give a care about what they think - for example, people don't care when they are high.
The rape dream- You feel that since he has been using you he is now going to use/take advantage of your best friend. But instead of being there for her and trying to warn her about him, all you can think about is how he is not using you anymore. She didn't enjoy or hate it, but you feel like you'd appreciate him more than she does (as messed up as that sounds, but this was a tricky one for me to interpret, since this dream was messed up to begin with) So you try to make him use you but he just looks at you and this is saying you feel like he wants nothing to do with you anymore.
There must be a reason why you turned him down when he asked you out. Maybe you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, or you feel like you can't trust him, or both. You said "Oh he started talking to another girl. He asked me about a relationship, but I am too afraid of it." Afraid that he would cheat on you with this new girl that he is talking to?
I think you are depressed, but not that you have depression. However, you might go into a depression if you keep not being true to yourself. Stay away from these people. I am sure that you could do better.
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