A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I was going out with this boy for about a month but ended it because I didnt see him enough.I really miss him and he told me he misses me too, so we've decided to try again.However he is a player, and I know he is.I've seen messages from him to other people talkign about his girlfriend "blah blah" and other things;Basically I have total proof he is going out with someone else, but he still wont admit it to me.I dont know what to do!I really like him, please help me =)
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 Hi,
the most worrying thing about your post is you want to get back with him despite knowing he is a player.
You need to take a good hard look at yourself and ask the question: "why am I attracted to a man I know will cheat on me."
These men always have a girl on their arm, there is obviouslysome attraction to the cheater - they tend to be overly self confident, arrogant and for a brief period of time make a girl feel very special.
You don't need a player to make you feel special, try and break the mold and go for someone who will see you as a person with feelings not as someone to have sex with a few times before boredom kicks in and the next conquest comes along.
good luck
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 June 2008):
You don't need him admit it to know he's guilty. There are plenty of murderers in prison due to overwhelming proof, who still say they are innocent.
You can stay with him and be a door mat and get hurt and damaged hoping he will change... Or you can hold your head up high and walk away.
I know you say you love him but you will never be happy with this man.
You will find someone better and then forget this guy completely.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Bit sad that you have to ask. I would be more worried about why you really like him. Perhaps you want to be "the one" that makes him see the light so you can lift your own importance. This never works. What you see is what you get, so many women make the mistake of thinking they can make a man better. These type of men get off on playing the field and having girls begging them. They can play the charming rogue role but it is a total illusion and you waste your time. He says he misses you but he misses not having you in the game, he likes the fact that he can control you into accepting his narcisistic behaviour. You would make far more impact if you refused to play, but you have to mean it and get out of the sick game before he wrecks your self esteem and makes you unable to trust people. It depends whether you can resist being drawn into it, because it is quite possible that you are getting a thrill as well.
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