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I have strong urges to hurt him mentally, is this normal?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a wondeful boyfiend and he loves me so much.I do love him and i know im extremly lucky to have him.I dont know why but for some reason i get irritated with him.Even when he hasnt said or done anything i just get this rage in me and i get shitty with him for no reason.Lately its happening more often-at 1st i put it down to my pms but its not.

Also i have strong urges to hurt him-not physically but mentally like saying something i know will upset him.

Anyone experienced this? Am i crazy??

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (20 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntNo, it is important to remember that not just men are abusive in relationships.

Why you are like this is something you need to figure out before it is to late.

There is no difference when a man constantly puts his wife down with when you do it to your man. Get some help.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 July 2008):

Danielepew agony auntI don't think we can define this as "normal" or "abnormal". Those are slippery concepts.

There is always a reason for us to get this angry with someone. I think you need to dig deeper for it.

On the other hand, there is never a good reason to hurt physically someone who "hasn't said or done anything". Get a grip on yourself. You say you're extremely lucky to have him: let it show. Otherwise, he will be extremely unlucky to have you.

If you can't control your rage towards him, whatever the reason it may have, then leave him. He doesn't deserve that behavior from you.

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A female reader, xxkissxx United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2008):

have you spoken to your boyfriend about this and say that you dont mean to upset him when you say nasty things, we all say things we dont mean, maybe you are worried that he is going to hurt you and the only way you can deal with him if he does ever hurt you is if you push him away

hope this helps x

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