A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i've been happily married for 16yrs but about 18mths ago i started developing feelings for a married man.He is often shy around me and will totally ignore me, and yet other times i can see him wanting to come and talk to me and we will laugh and joke. His daughter is friends with my daughter, so he has been to the house a few times, and me to his. He has told me a lot about himself, wife and family, and has asked me all about how my hubby and i met. He has trouble looking me in the eyes often, when we talk. Yet at other times, he will look me right in the eyes and i feel he can look right through me. I believe he is nervous around me. He once told me he thought i might be sneaking around behind my hubby's back..i told him "no way" and that just because people are married, it doesn't mean they can't be friends. He then said it was his vanity that got the better of him. I wasn't sure if he was trying to tell me that perhaps he did like me. I hate having these feelings and feel so guilty. What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): try not to be alone with him, no sly comments, flirty comments, and stop trying to find signs that he is also interested. I think you have read all the pain and suffering people are going through on this site. you do not want/need to be one of them. you claim to be happily married, so channel that energy into your marriage. think of all the people that will be destroyed by your indescretion. think about your child! and his poor wife if you do start something. If you do not watch out it will suddenly creep up and you will find yourself drowning. try to distance yourself- do not even fool yourself in believing that you can be JUST FRIENDS. It never works. No coffee drinks alone, or even lunch alone. visit each other (only if absolutely necessary). DO not give into any temptation thinking that it is only this one time. all it takes is just one time for heartache and pain, suffering and innocent peoples lives being destroyed. Good luck, strength and courage and remember the heart sometimes lies. Use your head and steer clear from any involvmentwith him. It seems as though you do want more with him, maybe the excitment of a new male's attention. If you are honest with yourself you know that you may be heading for disaster. You are looking for signs that he too is interested but please do not act on this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): If you are happy in your marriage i would leave well alone yes you can be friends but you say you have feelings for this other man try to distance yorself from him as i feel if you dont things could progress and a lot of people will get hurt,we all have good intensions,we listen to there problems in a friendly manner but sometimes it can get out of control, my advice to you would be stop going to his house and him yours and keep any contact to a polite hello try not to be alone with him as i am thinking you want more from this guy forgive me if i am wrong but thats what i sence.
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