A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:been having this problem with my baby's fatherwe just broke up about 2 weeks ago but i haven't been seeing him for the past month just 2 days or one day in two weeks at a time.i just decided to leave him for good, what i want from him is for him to be in our daughters life to be a dad.i've tried contacting him if he can take her for the day or weekend or even visit her yet i havent heard from him at all.i happened to check his facebook he just seems fine to be without my daughter. it hurts me on how he can just go on with his life without seeing her for so longshould i just leave him be and raise her on my own without him being around ???plus i am pregnant with his second child so i have no clue what to do
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female
reader, RB92  +, writes (10 July 2010):
I apologize for the length of time its taken for someone to get back to you, and if your situation has changed don't hesitate to message me if you want some advice.
It seems like this is a truly awful situation to find yourself in and its going to take a huge amount of strength to get yourself out of it. I'll start off with the unborn child - I'm assuming he knows your pregnant with his second child? If not, you seriously need to tell him as soon as possible. If so, and hes just disappeared, you need to be a bit harder on him about his children without making your relationship worse. What you push him for however is up to you; it is ideal that children have regular contact with their dads and it sounds like you really want that. On the flip side, you could bring up both children on your own - there are a lot of people that do that and its not impossible, just hard work. I'm not sure what Canada is like in terms of maintenance, but the UK is quite good in ensuring dads pull their weight, and I recommend you mention that to him if you decide to bring them up on your own.
As I mentioned earlier, this is a bad situation and I appreciate that. It is going to take lots of strength over the next few weeks, months and years in order to ensure whats best for you and your children. You have to remember that although your children are your priority, you too have to be happy - you need a social life, you need the oppurtunity to persue a career, you need support and happiness. Without making sure these things are addressed, it makes family life very tense.
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