I have feelings for my best friend which aren't returned. I don't want to lose her!

A male age 30-35, *mertaJohn writes:

So I've been best friends with this girl for 3 years now. I've had 'extra' feelings for her for a long time now, on and off. I told her about these feeling about 18 months ago, but got totally shot down. Our friendship wasn't shaken though and we're still really strong together. She moved away due to university so I only see her every weekend (which sucks), but we always make time to hang out, text, phone one another etc. We're both having a really hard time just now, but she doesn't know about any of my problems because I don't want to burden her, but I'm more than happy to be her shoulder to cry on. I've been really uncertain about about my feelings towards her, because I've been finding it easier since she's moved away. But when she comes up and we go out to a club, it kills me when I see some guy trying to hit on her. I always leave, I can't watch it. I don't even know why that is. I'm starting to think its these dormant feelings returning and I don't think I can handle it again. I need to deal with them but I don't know whether to do the same as last time or... Well I actually don't know what else. Was just looking for some advice because I've got enough on my plate without losing my best friend.

View related questions: best friend, text, university

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A male reader, bronzed adonis  +, writes (18 February 2012):

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