A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have this male friend at work who I've hung out with outside of work a few times before. We could both tell there was definitely an attraction there, so one night after a few drinks, we ended up in bed together. I wasn't sure if it was a one time thing or not, but a few nights later the same thing happened again.I wanted this to remain casual, kind of a no-strings thing. See, I dated a co-worker before, and things really blew up in our faces at work and he ended up quitting over it and then we split and that was the end of that. I knew it would be stupid to get involved with another co-worker, so I figured, whatever, if this can remain completely casual it's all good right? Wrong.Now I find myself thinking about him all the time and smiling when I do, and actually missing him and wanting him to be a bigger part of my life. I'm fairly certain his feelings are pretty much the same. Interested, but treading cautiously.I never wanted this to turn into anything more, and I don't know if maybe this dating co-workers thing is just a pattern for me and I just do it because it's convenient. But I do have feelings for him. I'm just scared because if this relationship goes any further, what if the management finds out and I wind up fired over it? I already did it once before! I almost feel like I'm being easy! Maybe I am?I don't really know what to think or do. All I know is I don't want this blowing up in my face just like it did before, but I also don't want to spend my life wondering if I made the right decision or not. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, HopeHeals  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 Hi dear,
Let me tell you that the fear of repeating past patterns is the very thing that makes things repeat. I feel you should go for it. Being intuitive I strongly feel that this one will last the longest.
Blessings
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