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I have competition for this man. Should I just give up?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why do I feel this way? Is it the right thing to do?

I've liked this guy for months now. He works at gym and whenever I'd look up he'd be staring at me. So I decided to train with him. I've lost alot of weight and I look better and all his colleague friends are constantly watching me too.

Anyway, there's this girl he also trains with and she'd watch him all the time and I see him look at her too. I'm shy and quiet around him but she's really chatty and they talk lots and laugh alot. She asked me how long I've been training with him. I obvious she likes him.

But he's quiet and shy around me too.

I wanna forget it and move on. I'm I weak to give up cause I see a competition? I've liked him so long and nothing's happened and I doubt anything will. Do I just give up?

View related questions: move on, move on, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013):

Give up - he is just doin his job being friendly with his clients, he probs has a girlfriend or even a wife. Or maybe he is gay. He could have made a move but he hasn't so just accept it

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (8 April 2013):

malvern agony auntFirstly, is this guy actually available? He may already have a girlfriend which might explain why he's not made a move. If you're the shy type then I wouldn't bother asking him out as I'm sure it would make you feel uncomfortable. Concentrate on being friends with him with general chat about anything you care to talk about. At least that way you're not putting any pressure on him. If you 'click' with him then you can decide what you want to do next.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 April 2013):

chigirl agony auntHow do you expect to catch a man? By staring at him for months? That seems like your plan so far, and I got to say.. of course nothing has happened. You haven't made any moves on him!

Ask him out. Simply as that. Ask if he'd like to have a cup of coffee. Then he can decide himself if he likes the other girl better or not, but why would you give up when you haven't even started.

It's not like he and that other girl are destined to be together and it is written in the stars. First one to reach the finish line is the winner.. So go for it. If I was placed in this situation I would probably not train with him at all, just go up to him, smile, give him a compliment, and ask him out right in front of your noses. He'd probably say yes too. Other girls might think I'm a bitch for doing that, but sheez. You've stared and stared for months and had plenty of time to make your move. So no complaints if some girl actually makes a move on him instead of just staring at him.

Men need to be hunted down. They aren't caught by randomly tumbling your way. Or, there is slim pickings if you only take what comes tumbling your way.

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