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I have a massive crush on a work colleague which I seriously need to get over.

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Question - (16 April 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a massive crush on a work colleague which I seriously need to get over. I've liked him for 18 months, I almost feel as though I am in a fantasy world with it because whenever he even remotely turns him head in my direction I'm tthinking he's interested in me. Reality is that he's more than likely not, firstly as he has a girlfriend and secondly we are in the same department at work. Which would make any possible relationship, if he were single, pretty much impossible.

So, I need to get over this crush. I really, really need to do something to make it end because it's making me all mopey that there's no chance. He's so lovely and beautiful though, I pretty much fell for him on the first day he started at my work and I've never responded so instantly to someone. I'd never sneak behind his girlfreind's back as my own mum left due to having an affair, I'd never put anyone through the pain I, my sister and my father went through.

Anyone with some advice?

View related questions: affair, at work, crush, has a girlfriend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

im kind of going thru the same thing. only difference is that im married, hes engaged, it started as a joke but the feelings have gotten stronger that we have our days where it cant be controlled any longer. I being the woman, say, enjoy what you can have as long as it lasts since we all know there is an expiry date to all things. he being the man on the other hand, is afraid to let himself go free and enjoy what we have since he feels aboit guilty. anyway, if you ask me, just enjoy the moment!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

Thank you so much. I thought I was going mad but you've described exactly how I feel about my work colleague. If you ever do get over it please let me know how.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2009):

Sweet-thing agony auntAlas, we always want what we cannot have. I think it's called temptation and you better get used to it because life is full of little pitfalls that try to derail our lives. Try to get assigned to work projects that don't involve super-cute-but much-off-limits guy. Make your lunch dates away from the office and one day when you least expect it, you'll find another cute guy that catches your eye and hopefully he'll be available for the taking.

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A male reader, just wondering United States +, writes (17 April 2009):

Wow what a lucky guy to have two girls that like him. Have you ever left a bowl of candy on the table and slowly ate all of it. That is what infatuation is. Stop looking at him, putting yourself in the way of him, thinking of him, in general take him off the table.

Concentrate your attention in a forward direction and if he is in front that is why you have two feet enjoy what they look like when he is in front of you.

Find new avenues to meet someone gym, clubs, church groups, whatever but since you can not throw the candy away you need to put a cream cheese pie on the stove.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

You sound really sweet and admirable (and that quality is so impressve) Really!!! I would myself just enjoy him for what he offers. He makes you feel good (just seeing him); his presence makes you look forward to going to work. Why not just enjoy that for what it is. Just enjoy his company (if it is truly conversing and friendship) or enjoy his good looks and manerisms if it is appreciation from afar. And if it is meant to be, then he will end up with you.

Having a girlfriend just means he has a girlfriend. It does mean his with the right person for him (for all you know they could be about to break up). I would never try to break that up (as you say you wouldn't), but I would just let things play out. Just don't give up on meeting somebody else (b/c of it). Good luck!!! Jamie.

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