A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating an older (divorced) man for a year now and we still don't have sex. We are very sexually active in other ways (by masterbating with each other, foreplay...) but he says that sex means alot to him if it's in a relationship. He always tells me how much he likes me and we have a great sexual connection.We don't live together (spend about 2 nights per week with each other) but work together. He has children (who he is really concerned about any other woman meeting.. but has recently mentioned me going to lunch with them one time), he lives 2 hrs away from my house (despite the same work location), he is much older than I am, and is a very harmless (I hope) flirt with many women. It drives him crazy that I am so jealous when he spends time with another woman, and it drives him crazy that I always try to run away from the relationship when things get tough (because I think I am worried he will leave me). The crazy thing, is that despite all of this, I think I am falling in love with him - but I'm very worried about where the relationship is going.Thoughts?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY  +, writes (17 April 2009):
 you need to know his intentions, as this is your life aswell as his and you need to know where its headed. It seems you have put him on a pedastal somewhat and he is calling the shots, maybe its because hes older and you look up to him more - but a relationship should be on equal footing. Can you not initiate the sex, he may be shy and not wanting to push things?? This has been going on for a year now and if it was me i'd be wanting more by now, it seems to me he is happy with this convenient situation but if you want more you must tell him - otherwise i guess it will be like this for another year, then another... you are not in the wrong by asking him 'where this is this going' if he doesnt like you asking and gets flustered then maybe you should think its not right and find someone not necessarily the same age as you but who wants the same things relationship-wise
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