A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met a guy through work about 2 months ago.He is senior to me, and I feel in reality I am not good enough, looks wise, status or anything. He flirted with me and asked me out for coffee, that I declined as thought he just a player. Since then he seems concerned about my well being, and yes, I have fallen for him big time. Because I feel so inadequate, I know deep down he is out of my league, and I am responsible for children, unwell mother, a friend currently going through cancer treatment, just feel it is already a moment lost. Each time I see him I am overwhelmed with shyness, giggling and am starting to feel ridiculous, I am a rational woman who has had many relationships good bad and plain ugly, the timming is wrong, why can't I get this man out of my head. It is starting to stop me sleeping, eating and making me feel a bit mad!Thanks for any help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): Honey, if you think you're not good enough to be with him, then he's not good enough to be with you. You have a lot on your plate, and a new relationship will just be one more thing. Friends are your support system 24/7, but a boyfriend doesn't become a support system until you've committed the time and energy to each other and each others' lives--which would include him becoming acquainted with your unwell mother, cancer-stricken friend, and children, and you investing in his life. I don't think you've got the time to start something new.
On the other hand, if you're able to keep it fun and casual, spending time with him could be a nice respite from the rest of your life. I don't know you well enough to tell you yes or no on this part, I just know that sometimes it's nice to have a makeout buddy. If you don't think you can stay casual, DON'T. DO. IT.
Also, I think you've got a crush, not love. Do you want to spend time with him, maybe sleep with him? That's a crush. Would you step in front of a gun for him, no hesitation, or wake up to help him at 4 in the morning when he gets sick all over the floor? That's love.
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