A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. So I'll just jump right in. I am in a relationship and have been for a little over a year with an amazing guy, and I love him very much. He's 18, I'm 17 so I'm stuck in high school for another year while he works and saves up to start school in the spring semester. His job makes it really hard to see each other, and I have been stressing about it lately (I have panic disorder so it makes things a little bit worse) so I was venting to my best friend. He was being really supportive and I was getting emotional and he got me through an anxiety attack along with another good friend.Then today, I was talking to my best friend after seeing my boyfriend yesterday saying I was happy and we had talked things out. My best friend then kind of says basically "I know something you don't" which of course peaked my curiosity. I pestered him until he told me and well... he's apparently in love with me. I knew that when e first met he had a sall crush, but I've been with my boyfriend since before I met him. This is the second time he has confessed feelings for me and I want to just act like it nevr happened. I want to be friends. He's attractive, don't get me wrong, if I had been single when we met I probably woud have dated him. The fact is though I love my boyfriend. And I don't want to hurt my best friend.Help?Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 But you'll have to. Unless you want to dump the boyfriend you are with , and whom you love,... just to be nice to your best friend and not hurt his feelings .
But in this case, you'd hurt your boyfriend , no ?
Let's also not exaggerate with all this " hurt ". Rejection is a part of life- one can'y always get what he wants ; your friend knew that you were not single, and, I guess, that you love your bf. So he must have known that it was far from a deal done, and that in fact he was likely to be turned down. He tried a " nothing ventured nothing gained " and cheers to him for having been brave, but he knew there was no guarantee of success.He'll get over it, and if he's smart he'll do his best to get over it real fast. Or, he won't, that's up to him. If he wants to keep moping about someone's else woman, that's his choce and does not concern you .
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