A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a happy, fufilling relationship that's lasted for almost a year. I have no desire for this relationship to end. I've never, ever been unfaithful before, but last night i cheated on my boyfriend. The reason i did was because an ex-boyfriend of mine, who had moved to Jamaica, flew back to France, where i live, to surprise a group of friends, and especially me.For some reason, i'm ridiculously attracted to this guy. There's something intensely irresitable about him. Also, I felt that our relationship had been cut prematurely short, and there was no sense of closure. I had no idea he was coming to visit, i was in a club with friends, turned around and there he was.Needless to say, we ended up kissing that night. We talked on the roof of a friend's building until the sun rose. I know it's wrong to cheat, but like i said, this guy is irresistable. I want to see as much of him as i can until he leaves. On the other hand, i love my boyfriend and don't want things to end. My boyfriend's in the army all week, and i only see him on the weekends. My ex knows i have a boyfriend and says he doesn't care. Who thinks it's harmless to continue seeing my ex over the next few weeks? Who thinks it would be a hideous betrayal of my boyfriend? WHo thinks there's a happy medium? Please help!
View related questions:
cheated on my boyfriend, kissing, my ex, no desire Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 You've betrayed your boyfriend's trust. If you felt it necessary to be with someone else, you wouldn't be with your boyfriend. The best thing that you can do at this time is to break up with your boyfriend and let him get on with his life. Nobody deserves to have someone who tells them that they love them, then goes and cheats on them. By cheating on your boyfriend, you've proven that you're more than willing to hurt him and to sacrifice his feelings for your needs. Please spare him.
DV1
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): well if my GF went behind my back to see her ex while i was away and then i later found out that they spend so much time together and maybe even kissed i would find it very hard to trust her in the future.
"No closere"..."he's irresistable"...this is all bullsh*t! you cant make excuses to justify ur actions. I suggest if u want to see him then tell your bf your seeing him but i reckon once for old times sake is enough. At the end of the day jus think if your BF done the same to you how would u feel.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): Simple - if it was the other way around - would u like it?
...............................
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 I can understand that the attraction you're feeling for your ex is great. I can also see how that feeling of not having closure on your relationship is another reason for you to see him.
Whereas I can understand what you're going through I just feel that seeing your ex this way would be a betrayal to your boyfriend.
Would you be comfortable in telling your boyfriend that you met with your ex, that you talked all night, watched the sun rise together and that you kissed? If you feel bad about that scenario, then probably you too feel that what you did is a bit wrong.
If you really love your boyfriend, I suggest that you try to achieve closure with your ex without kissing. This would also be good for your peace of mind, because then you will have no further guilt feelings to deal with.
...............................
A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (21 May 2007):
There is no happy medium...sorry tell me why does your ex NOT care? Not care about what exactly...you, you being involved or what...I don't understand.
...............................
|
