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I hate my boyfriend's twin brother, but cant help feel jealous when I see him with his new girlfriend! Why do I feel like this and how can I stop?

Tagged as: Family, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 December 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

First of all I love my boyfriend we have been together for almost 3 years and we are planing to get married. Me and his twin brother don't get along for several reason that is too long to explain. But I can't seem to get him out of my mind. He just broke up with his girlfriend of six years because she cheated on him. And now my boyfriends twin brother is on vacation and putting pics on his FB page of some girl. And I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I feel kind of jealous and it's driving me crazy to think that he is with someone else. But what I don't understand is if I hate him why do I feel this way? And how can I stop? Is it just because he looks like my boyfriend? And him and my boyfriend are day and night my boyfriend is sweet and he is such a ass and a playboy. I'm confused and also a few times when he would hang out with my boyfriend he would ask why I didn't come but if he knows I don't get along with him why would he expect me to hang out with him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012):

Possibly even though you know his twin brother isn't your boyfriend, if they look alike (or even identical), looking at the twin with another woman might trigger a strange scenario in your mind that "What if" those pictures were of your boyfriend with another woman, and the jealousy you feel is what you would feel if it was actually your boyfriend on holiday with another woman.

In a simpler way of understanding it, I guess what I'm saying is that maybe its easy for you to imagine that being your boyfriend on the holiday with that woman, because your boyfriend and his twin look alike.

Just a thought.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Actually his brother would be the one to ask why I didn't go hang out with him and my boyfriend but thanks for your answer

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012):

It's just a love/hate thing OP. They're very closely linked emotions. Besides you're a woman and women love badasses with a bit of an edge. So basically this guy is edgy and cool in ways that excite you. It's normal really. Your boyfriend invited you along because he doesn't truly know how much you love/hate his brother OP.

You're obviously attracted to him if he's an identical twin and he has badass qualities that excite you a bit too. it doesn't mean you'd consciously want him more but there is a lot in you that wants parts of him.

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