A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do people change to the worst. I've been dating my boyfriend for years and he was romantic an caring. Since we live in together his now a total different person, he doesn't want to do anything in the house. I have come from work cook, clean and do washing for us instead he doesn't eve just watch tv and demand that I give him what he needs. I sat with him and talked about the problem but still there's no change. I just don't know what to do cause I feel like a slave. We are in a 50/50 relationship when it comes to financial issues but when it comes to the house chores I have to do everything alone.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2012): He told you what you wanted to hear so he could sweet talk you into shacking up with him.
Now he has what he wants: a live-in maid, cook, valet, housekeeper, laundress, surrogate mother and unpaid whore whom he can boink at his convenience, and should he grow tired of you he can just leave and stick you with the mortgage since he has no legal obligation, commitment or responsibility to a shack-up girlfriend.
Agree with Sageoldguy, only solution would have been pre-emptive, insist that he marry you. In the meantime, until you smarten up and dump him, make sure that you do not let him knock you up.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 What you are finding is that your "man" has morphed in to a "boy" who is happy to have his MOTHER living with him, and tending to him..... (Yet, having S*X with him!!!!).... which is what "living together" really is!!!!
You.... and a great number of other women who will make similar submittals on here.... really SHOULD figure out - in advance - that you are at HIGH RISK for this phenomenon when you agree to share an address with a guy.....
The "solution" is strictly preventive.... i.e. DON'T "Move in with" or "Live with" a guy UNTIL he makes things official by marching your cute a*s down the aisle!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2012):
 My husband and I had this exact conversation yesterday.
I said "I do the cooking and the cleaning (although we have a maid now bi-weekly I still do the day to day stuff) and the laundry and take care of your 'personal needs'. What do you do around here?" because before we moved in together, he lived by himself for 10 years and he did his own cooking and laundry (although cleaning was kind of left to what HAD to be done and cooking... well he ate out pretty much 24/7)
Do you ask him to do specific things? 'honey can you take the trash out?" "honey can you empty the dishwashwer"
'honey would you carry the laundry basket up the steps for me"
when you say he 'demands' that you give him what he needs... stop giving into his demands.
IF you cook, he cleans up... if he cooks, you clean up...
sadly the problem is, that passive aggressive behavior will will here. YOU will cook for both of you and he won't clean up and the mess will sit till you clean up.
or you could cook once... if he does not clean up you don't cook again till he cleans up
or you could pull your financial support from the home and say it's your payments for being the maid, laundress, cook and handy penis holder... it's your salary.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): Try not doing it. If talking doesn't work then just don't it, cook for yourself only, only put on your laundry and don't wash any dishes or clean up.
Seriously if he doesn't want to make the effort then don't make the effort for him.
Stick to your guns and see how he likes it. He'll grow tired of having no clean clothes or food on the table on demand and will most likely step up and if he doesn't then you'll have to reconsider living together.
If he asks why you didn't cook him anything, tell him you'll do it when he starts pulling his weight, you're not his servant and if he wants to treat the place like a flat then you'll take of yourself only. It's 50/50 in all ways or you'll just look after yourself. Simple.
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