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I hate being on top, it's way too tiring.

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Question - (13 January 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i feel so lazy in bed as i hate being on top, purely because practice will not make perfect and i find it so hard and tiring! im quite short and my legs are quite small, and i feel like i cannot move up and down enough to please him or even myself. any help would be so appreciated! thank you

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (14 January 2012):

person12345 agony auntCertain ways of doing girl on top are excruciatingly hard and some ways are just fun. The ways that imo are difficult and uncomfortable are the ways you always see on TV and in porn (sitting straight up and wiggling your hips around). The way I've found that is much easier and imo feels way better is to get "situated" up there, then put your legs behind you and lay down on your stomach on top of him, legs on either side of his thighs. You can prop yourself up with your arms, or just lean on your elbows, or wrap your arms around him. It's basically upside down missionary. You can use your arms and lower legs to move yourself up and down and it's not much more work than say, riding a bike (kind of a similar motion except the legs move together instead of separate). It also provides a lot more skin on skin contact.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012):

I feel exactly the same as you towards this position. I'm also quite short and I never thought that could be the issue with this position actually, perhaps it is.

Because I don't like it or get any enjoyment from it and neither does my partner whilst I'm doing it, I simply don't do it. You don't have to do that position, there are tones of positions you can try.

If your partner respects you, he will accept that you don't want to do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012):

honey i'm about the same age, in good shape, work out regularly, and am tall with long legs and I agree it is the hardest position for me. Just wanted to make you feel better that it is not your short legs doing it, or that you are lazy.

It would not help for me to say "practice" because you cant! When you are having sex with him it is hardly considered practice! So I would say to take it slow and find an angle and position that you could do for a longer period of time.

For me it helps when I keep my legs stationary and move my hips up and down. If he holds my sides or my hips it helps with gravity a bit too. He can help by moving as well, and create more momentum.

While I enjoy sex on top, he often gets worried that I'll move at an unsuitable angle and I always get tired...so we do it occasionally.

You are not alone in your feelings about being on top but don't let it worry you. I used to feel inadequate or like something was wrong with me that I was not good at being on top, and I felt like I was making him do all the "work". It is of course not true for both accounts, and it is nothing to worry about. We have found so many other positions that are equally if not more satisfying to us, and I don't think of it as a failure on my part but just a position that is not our favorite. Guys and gals just have different bodies and some angles and things don't end up working out.

There are things you can do while on the bottom as well that will make you feel less "lazy" and you'll just have to move and do things that feel right to you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012):

While there are 50 ways to leave your lover, there are also 50 or more ways to love your lover.

Like Einstein imagination is more important than knowledge.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 January 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntThe more you do it the more fitter you will get and the more your muscles will begin to adapt to it and get stronger. You cannot expect the man to always put in the hard work, it should be equal.

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2012):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntWell the simple answer is if you do not enjoy being on top then dont!

There are literally 100s of positions you can try that suit people of all shapes and sizes, why not look online and find new ideas of things you think would suit you more, below is a link to just some ideas.

http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/relationships/galleries/9278/Top-20-sex-positions

Its not that you are lazy, just not every single things suits every single person.

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