A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since i was born I've been surrounded by mostly women. My dad was around but he was absolutely useless that my mum just kicked him out when i was about 10. He didn't run away with another woman, he was kicked out. That's how pathetic he was. Anyway when i was about 8 or 9, i contracted some form of Hepatitis or a liver disease of some kind. I was incredibly ill and close to death. I spent about 3 weeks in bed. The one thing I'll never ever forget is asking my sister for help. I asked her to fetch me a glass of water on numerous occasions and she would always refuse. that hurt like hell. At that time we were living with my aunt and she had a female maid who would always deny us food and we'd always sneak in the middle of the night. That all changed in a few years when we moved abroad. During my teens i was raised purely by my Mum because my Dad was just useless. She was very overbearing and didn't think i was capable of looking after myself or doing anything. I was never allowed out and it resulted with me developing social phobia and depression which i had for pretty much the mid to late teens.I also had really bad experiences with my 2 secondary school crushes. The first one was the worst possible. I won't go into too much detail about what happened but it took me 3 years to finally get over it and i was humiliated by my "friend" in front of the whole school. The second was also awful but nowhere near as bad as the first.Now i can't stand my mum's voice it just does my head in whenever she gives advice and it makes me mad. I just ignore her all the time. As for my sister whenever i try and make a conversation she always comes out with a retarded response. I'm now 19 and i don't think I've spoken to her properly for 10 or so years and to be honest I'd die happy if i never saw her ugly face again.I'm not gay or anything because i have NO sexual attraction to men whatsoever. I like women yet the sight of a woman being feminine just makes me sick to my stomach. I'd love to be able to have a relationship with a woman but i just don't know how to. Whenever a girl tries talking to me or even smiling and being friendly i always ignore it and go about my business.Help, i hate being like this.
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female
reader, justjess +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Have you tried speaking to your mum about any of this? I don't think any mother would want her child to feel bad about them etc so mabye she just doesn't understand.
Do you have any friends whos house you can stay at for a while? then you can start thinking about moving out whilst been away from the situation.
if you find your self needing someone to talk to, then feel free to message me
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I suggest you take your time to develop as a human, and look away from this issues for now. At this time in your life you do not need to have a girlfriend, or settle down with a family (you actually never need too, but society expects it after some years). Go about your own business and develop as a human like I said, gain some experiences, travel, study, and enjoy life as a single young man. If you find someone nice enough you can be friends, but don't try to push yourself into a relationship.
I also suggest you find a job and move out from home. I suspect you still live at home because of your age and since you mentioned your sister. Moving out on your own you wont have to deal with your sister or mother or anyone unless you want to. But that demands independency, and especially financial independence. Which requires hard work. I hope you can accomplish that, for your own sake. The sooner you remove yourself from people who bring you down, the sooner you can begin to recover and be yourself. You could also look into studies abroad for example. There are options out there, you just need to look for them and find ways to make life better for yourself.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (17 November 2010):
These are very deep psychological issues that have been rooted into you after your traumatizing family experiences, especially with those concerning women. But I don't think you need me to tell you that as you explained it all.
This is something I would seek professional help for. At the school you attend, is there a campus psychiatrist? Or at least a psychiatric department that could forward you to a professional nearby? I'm not saying they need to prescribe you pills or anything, but having someone to talk to face to face may help you work through these problems.
Best of luck.
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