A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl a few months ago at a retreat.I was instantly attracted to her. We didnt talk too much because of the activities, but we did talk a few times and notice each other. I always noticed her looking at me and vice versa. After the retreat we kept in contact. Today, she accepted my invitation to watch a movie with me. However even though she accepted, she asked that we go as just friends. She said she didn't feel comfortable going on dates, or being alone with a guy. And she said she doesn't expect it to lead to anything. I guess that's fine, but is it too pessimistic or too soon to start thinking that I have no chance with her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 "Just friends" is the woman's (nice) way of saying "you've got no chance with me buddy!"
If it were Brad PItt I bet she wouldn't be saying she "didn't feel comfortable going on dates, or being alone with a guy".
"She said she doesn't expect it to lead to anything". Here she's telling you up front there more chance of getting struck by lightning 17 times in a row than this going anywhere".
"is it too pessimistic or too soon to start thinking that I have no chance with her?"
It's not pessimistic. It's realistic to THINK the you have NO chance at all I'm afraid.
If I were you I wouldn't waste my time. She's not interested. However, she is being honest with you, which is a good thing. She's telling you up front this isn't going anywhere but sure she'd hang out with you. So, if you want/need more friends then go ahead. Sounds to me like you want a girlfriend though. This AIN'T it.
My advice is, leave this one alone and go find a girl who wants to be with you.
Sorry for my somewhat brutal reply but I just want to be clear. Saves you a lot of time, money and pain in the long run.
Go strike up conversations with other girls and ask for their numbers. If any girl ever says "just friends" then you are OUT.
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