A
male
age
41-50,
*ame
writes:Hi‚ I,ve been in this relationship for 9 yrs and we live together. I was in an accident 4 yrs ago, I almost lost my life. She's been helping me with everything because I'm in a wheelchair, I have to learn to walk again but she been there for me. She told me she's not happy because I'm not showing any attention. She works 2 jobs and college while I babysit 14yr old and 12yr old when. She gets home at weekends her school buddies want her to go out so she can release some stress, I let her go. We just moved to a smaller house and my hospital bed can't fit, so the bed that we have isn't good for me cause of the accident. I sleep on the couch because it's more comfortable two days in new house now she's angry because i'm not sleeping in the bed with her. She told me 2 weeks ago she meet a guy over her brothers and they been talking about each others relationships, now the guy is hitting on her, he's fresh out a divorce and she think he's nice they been talking for 2 months behind my back. I have never cheated on her.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 She sounds exhausted.
Since you are at home, have you considered starting a home business through the computer, so that she does not have to work two jobs?
The kids (12 and 14) are in school right?
I wonder, when you both moved into the new place, didn't you both take care to measure it to make sure your bed could fit in? I would see this as a red flag. Could it be that she is hoping you will take the hint and leave her, so that she does not have to be the bad one?
I think her mothering you is causing her to feel overwhelmed and unattractive. Are you still able to have sex with her? If not, have you both looked into sex toys and other marital aids?
I do think that the guy she is talking too is interested in having an affair with her, so I see it as a threat to the relationship, but accident or not, you need to do your part as well.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Well I think it was very kind of her to stay with you throughout all that. My boyfriend has helped me through huge issues I had and I really appreciated it. I know it put a huge strain on him to try and be there for me all of the time. Try and show her you appreciate all she does for you, as girls can easily feel unloved or unappreciated.Its good you are letting her do the things she wants to do like lettting her go out with friends etc. and keep that up. Also try let her see in a gentle way that you still love her in the same way even if you cannot sleep together and perhaps do something small to show her that.I cannot be sure, but it seems like she has turned to another guy to recieve the love and attention she thinks she is not getting from you. Perhaps she is insecure about the fact you may seem distant from her. Just make sure yur not too clingy in your efforts! Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (12 September 2009):
I think its awesome that you have someone thats been there for you thru this difficult situation. I suspect that theres more to it than you sleeping on the couch. I think you should communicate with her more openly and show her more love and affection...She is probably lonely and depressed and feeling stuck in the routine of things. This guy is someone new to talk to without feeling emotionally blackmailed. Im not saying thats what your doing but being in her position is hard for anyone. I cant even imagine what you are going thru God bless you and thank God you survived. Take it a day at a time; flowers love letters do what you have to and what you can to show her shes loved and appreciaated.
...............................
|
