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I get so jealous that I'm afraid of losing him

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2005) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

ok i shall start with my relationship with my boyfriend.I don't know what really happen to me.Starting of our relationship is good.But for not long i started to get jealousy and hot-temper.My jealousy is really high.Is like when he never sms(phone messaging)to me i get angry over it.And he went to talk to girl i also get angry over it.He went to work i scare he play with girl at the work place or afraid that the girl touch him.And we often quarrel over nothing.I cannot accept the fact that he told me we are still young so have more friends.But i'll thought of to me i'm not important.I always think too much.I don't know what should i do.I'm afraid of losing him because i really love him so much.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005):

Hi, well all I can simply tell you is that you need to stop doing that. I know it's not easy and you have the tendency to think that way. I'm going through the exact samething except it caused so many problems and finally about two weeks ago we broke up. If you really love this person you need to stop. You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. It's easier said then done but trust me its' for the best. Try to change and just be happy you two are together. Good Luck and I hope all works out. I don't want you to go through what's happening with me.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (30 December 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntYou get jealous because you don't think that you're good enough to please him. That's also why you think he'll find someone else, either at his work or amongst his friends.

What you need to remember is that it's not HIS fault that you're jealous. What makes you angry is coming from *you* and your own mind. Ask yourself why you don't think you're good enough for him. Then ask yourself this: if you're so bad, why is he with you, and not with someone else?

This is a problem that you need to fix in your own mind, or it will only get worse with time. Think about this too: if you keep arguing and badgering and making constant demands on your boyfriend, he's going to want to get away from you, and you *will* lose him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005):

first of all the jealousy is what will break you guys up you are pushing him away especially if he isn't doing anything and your just over reacting you need to relax and let be if he is to cheat on you he's gonna do it know matter how jealous you get or how suspicious you get you should try to stop looking into it so much and try trusting him you need trust in a relationship or it will never work good luck

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2005):

kellyO agony auntDearie, compliments of the season to u.

i really do agree with u here u cant continue like this unless u will loose him. I really dont blame u here u seem to really like this guy and u are afraid u might loose him but this fear will indeed cause u to loose him if it is out of control. I have alot of friends like this really and initially when i started dating i exhited the same and i know i will be able to help.

I think part of ur problem here is that u r fixating your attention too much on him. You are so concerned on every little details like when a girl touches him, or when he talks to a girl. He is right for suggesting u should have other friends at least to talk to and be with. This should distract some of your attention here.

Also,u should realise that by focusing your attention on a guy will not determine whether or not the relationship is going to fail. If he still wants to mess up believe me they always find a way. You just have to put some trust in ur man knowing that u cant possible police here throughout and know what he is up to at every minute of the day.

Finally, when u show certain people u have a bit of faith and trust in them some of them try at most not to dissappoint u. but if u show to them really that they cant be trusted some will go ahead and do it anyway thinking that u probably wont be surprised because the trust isnt there.

My advise here is that u should find alot of activities to occupy yourself when your boyfriend isnt around. This will stop your mind from wondering. Believe me this helps i have tried it myself.

Goodluck, i sincerely wish u the best.

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A female reader, mommyofthree +, writes (29 December 2005):

mommyofthree agony auntIf you really love him, you are going to have to back off. You are going to drive him away by making him feel controled. This is not a healthy situation for you or him so you need to get it in check as soon as possible. Good luck.

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