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I get an erection everytime I hug or kiss my gf; this embarasses me. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, *l Dente writes:

I can't help getting an erection when I hug or kiss my girlfriend, I'll hug her and then realise hes gone stiff and then i'll detatch myself to try and stop her noticing, we've only been together for a few weeks and I dont want to have sex yet and I'm pretty sure she doesn't either. I dont want to come across as moving too fast this early on in the relationship. I feel like i cant be up close to her anymore without the risk of feeling embarressed and I think she may have noticed that we're not as close as we used to be.

Is there anything I can do to help?

And will giving up masturbation make it worse?(I say this because now I'm with her I want to give up.)

View related questions: erection

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

I dont know about hugging but i dont think you should worry about getting one when kissing because most lads will if they have only been with their girl friend a few weeks and it would be better to masturbate. Hope this has helped my friend.

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A male reader, cheesemaster210 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2010):

i have to say i suffer from the same problem and the only thing i can say is wear jeans lol and not shorts it hides it better but masturbation can help. for example if you do (M) before you see your girl friend then you would no longer be sexily active and it is a less chance of you getting one.

and if shes relay loves you she will under stand hope this helps

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009):

Masturbating is fine and healthy! As long as you're not engaging in sexual activity with another person!

Also... erections are fine and healthy too! Your gf would probably feel complimented!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007):

Dear that is exactly what is supposed to happen to you when you hug and kiss her. If girls are too young they might be afraid at first but you have to explain it means you really like her, it's something you cannot control and it happens to all the guys.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (15 December 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi . As you grow up and become a man you find you learn to control your car; your career; your bank balance; and even your kids. BUT this one will beat you. So don't even try.

Instead, learn a number of diversionary tactics: Look up to a night sky and say "Jupiter's bright tonight." Or "Isn't that Brad Pitt" as you gaze down the street.


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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (15 December 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntWhy give up masturbating? It's not a sign that you are unfaithful to your girlfriend. It won't control the normal reaction that you are having when you are close to her and masturbation is a perfectly normal thing for everyone to do, whether you are in a relationship or not.

From the female perspective: The first time it happened, I was a bit surprised, but I have to say I found it very flattering, so don't be too embarrassed. I'm sure your girlfriend finds it flattering too. She will view it as a sign that you find her attractive, not as a sign that you have to have sex now or have to consider moving faster towards having sex as a result.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007):

im 15 too and i was kissing my boyfriend a few weeks ago and i felt his erection up again my leg, i took it as a compliment, he looked embarressed and said sorry but there was nothing to be sorry about so we just laughed and continued kissing. dont worry! she wont mind but try not to get an erection in public because i was in p.e the other day doing stretches and i turned around and there was a boy just standing there with a hard on.. it was kinda spooky... lol

and if you are really self consious about it just wear something that would cover it up! dont let your relationship be affected by something that dosnt really matter! =)

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A male reader, SamuraiRick United States +, writes (15 December 2007):

SamuraiRick agony aunt

You do nothing!! It’s a signal to her that you find her attractive, and you are perfectly normal. She should love that and find it a compliment to her! When I have been with women who spied on my boner I get smiles not rejection. If you call her your girlfriend, she above any other has an open invitation to see the affect she has on you. Look here, sometimes I get erections when I'm not even thinking about women, I'm worse than you. Imagine being in public and broad daylight having a boner...been there done that. Boners are fun! Be happy that you got one, and are not on the opposite end where you have erectile dysfunction.

P.S. Masturbating has nothing to do with this.

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