A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have moved in and become engaged to a man who is a high school teacher at a small high school. Recently I was cleaning out a closet for my stuff and found a briefcase. I looked in a briefcase and found various porn and some paperwork. In the paperwork I found a letter written by him to a student in the past. I'm not sure if she received the letter. In the letter he expresses how he is sad that she is not talking to him or texting him since she turned 18. He explains how much he misses her and knows he has said some inappropriate things. He is disappointed that the adminstration has forbidden her to visit her 4th hour due to inappropriate complaints coming from students. He explains that is jealous of her boy encounters and sad she may be moving. He also adds that he wishes to find someone with her personality and would date her if she were a little older and he younger. To top it off, he has a porn CD of girls barely 18. Keep in mind this is a well respected teacher. I know I invaded his privacy but feel this is a serious issue. I don't want to have problems down the road in a marriage with this man. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): This evidence puts you in a very difficult position but you need to see this man as a sexual predator he is. I would strongly suggest you take a deep breath, i know you may want to protect him but you need to do the right thing here. This teacher is violating these young girls. You need to advise the school board and yes, please do it anonymously. Remember you are dealing with a sexual predator. His behaviour will be unpredictable. He may also retaliate and attack you. Remember he is a so called respectable teacher, he would want to protect this false image. He will also try to convince you that what you have found is innocent and not what it looks like. Run like hell away from this man, but first report him.(i also suggest that you do not reveal what you found to him. Do not question him. Put away the evidence, just report and run for your life)
A
female
reader, ambrosia44 +, writes (5 November 2009):
Yes, this is bad news... Confront him immediately, listen to excuses then demand counciling. if he wont go or gets too offensive, you know you should leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Sorry this is a 'no brainer'. How can you possibly trust him after what you found? If you confront him he will no doubt find an excuse. Some things in life are sadly quite simple. He has taken advantage of his position of power and authority with very young girls. If you heard about this on the news what would you think? I'd get out of there while you are still unlikely to be considered a part of his sordid actions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I think this is damning evidence that he is a predator and has a problem, yes in fact criminal behavior.
I would confront him about it. I am sure he won't like it.
From the sounds of it, I wouldn't trust him, and I would call this a deal breaker, that is it would be for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): An adult who writes a love letter to a child is engaging in highly inappropriate (and potentially criminal)behavior. Confront him immediately and ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to marry. Would you be willing to stand by him if this letter or texts were found by a concerned parent or principal?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): You're in a difficult position. Any one of these things on their own might be explainable. Taken together the texting, the complaints from students of inappropriate contact, the inappropriate nature of his comments to this girl (jealousy) and the porn, seem pretty damning.
Think through what you would do if he couldn't explain things adequately, and you found yourself left with a reasonable conclusion that he's a pedo. Then confront him, explain your concerns, and give him a full and fair chance to explain things. If possible you would want to see the documentation on student complaints against him and assess for yourself if they're plausible from what you know of him -- such complaints *are* on occasion malicious.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, cupidislandgal +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Sweetie, u need to confront him!! This happened to me over a month ago and it took me a week to finally say something, I was so scared but I needed to hear it from him..mine admitted to it and said he had a problem before we met...thing is every since this happened I have been obsessing over it...checking his phone every day, wondering where he is and what he's doing when we r not together!!! u KNOW A crazy WOMAN....EITHER WE TRUST THEM AGAIN AFTER THIS OR WE DONT! what the hell...im still confused and question his loyalty but he SWEARS he has not acted upon any of it..that it was all for thrills!!! Go figure! Bless u my dear sister...pray...wait...listen! Thats what Im doing! :) Texasgal
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