A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:She is pomosexual I am a demiromantic pansexual who identifies as male and sometimes androgynous. She lives up North, while I live down near the Carolinas and Florida. We're both in college. We share similar hobbies. She and I talk on the phone, over Skype, Facebook, multiple blogs, and instant messenger services. I've known her for two, almost three years now, and for two people who haven't ever met in-person, I'd say we're close. Neither of us has a driver's license so that is part of the hindrance to meeting.The question I'm asking is that now on several occasions, I would feel waves of romantic — or what I'd wager as romantic emotions towards her. Wishing I was near her to make her happy. I don't know particularly what to do with it or about it, which is why I'm asking here. We're starting to send each other gifts in the mail soon (once we finish the gifts! — we're both artists so it is taking some time), but we've gifted each other with virtual things on one blog/journal site several occasions in the past. I don't really ever hear of long distance relationships working out well and I'm not really sure I WANT to start one. I just want her to be as happiest as she can be and I know this sounds sappy, but I want an opinion on it, Cupid.Any advice?[mod note: "Pomosexual" appears to be defined as a postmodernism sexual who challenges assumptions about gender and sexuality, also defined as a person who shuns labels such as heterosexual and homosexual that define individuals by their sexual preferences. "Ddemiromantic" seems to indicate an asexual who does engage in romantic relationships after establishing an emotional connection. "Pansexual" topic covered here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality ]
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): I am 21 and she'll be 19 the end of this year.
Thank you for all your help! I'll probably talk it over with her about plans of meeting up when we're both not busy with school/classes.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (6 October 2011):
The truth is, until very recently, long-term committed relationships built on communication, trust, caring, and similar interests, were frequently carried out over long distances (regardless of gender). Pen pals were one form of this; however, up until more recently and the dawn of digital communication, romantic relationships were also carried out over long distances through the mail sending letters and gifts, especially in times of war.
Why not simply enjoy what you have with her and not try to categorize the bond between you two as a long-distance relationship? You have something undeniably special. Don't let the conventional attitude towards LDRs take that away from you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 October 2011):
 Trains and buses run up and down the coast easily. I suggest a road trip of some sort.... where there is a will there is a way
I am in an LDR... but we are older and only 2 hours apart.
My opinion... before you decide what you are going to do with moving forward (staying friends or becoming romantic partners) you should meet in person and evaluate if you fit in person too... sometimes you only fit online or on paper or in your head... meshing in person (not just sexually but emotionally, mentally, energy level etc) is a totally different thing.
IF after you meet you still wish to pursue it... I can't see any harm (as long as you are both 18 or older) I would hate to think you are 18 and she is 15 or 16.... (in which case you need to just wait a bit longer)....
LDRs can work out with the following:
honesty
commitment
communication
trust
A PLAN to END the distance
regularly scheduled visits....
best of luck
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