A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello this is kind of long but I really need help. I have never been a needy person, one year ago I move to this country, to USA, because I received a job offer just out of college. I got the job of my dreams, and profesionally I feel very well, but my personal life has become a mess. Once I got here it has been extremelly dificult meet people of my age because of the cultural differences and the people that work with me are old people, so I feel very very lonely here. I get depress very often, and I cry because I feel different and lonely, even when i have been doing always everything right( I mean go to college, good grades, went to graduate school) my family reject me a lot. They forget my birthdates, and they don't care about spending any important holiday with me. It is like everything is more important than me.Recently I meet this guy that is wonderfull, he has treated me like a princess since day one, when we are together everything is perfect. We both have tight schedules because our jobs require a lot of time, and besides he is going to college also. I always try to mantain myself bussy, but i can't avoid to miss him when we are not together, because he is the only one thing that I have here in this city. We have been together for a little bit more than 7 months. At the begining he told me that he didn't wanted to be in a relationship because of the fear of loose his freedom and because he is the kind of person that once he gets into a relationship he can't break up with the person. He said that the freedom that he is talking about is not the freedom for been messing around with other women, we was exclusive since day one. Now things has change, and he is working as much as I am to make this relationship work, and he is giving me a place in his life, if he has a problem or something good that happen to him he always turn to me first. I want also to clarify that always since the begining even when he say that he didn't wanted a relationship, I was having all its benefict of that, like seeing eachother around 3 times a week, calling, texting and email regulary, great sex. Even when right now our relationship is moving well I can't avoid don't trust him because I fear for his rejection as my family has rejected me all the time, and sometimes he tell me some things and I don't believe him, even when in the botton of my heart I know he is telling me the truth. I am in a very bad emotional situation, I have never been insecure, I am very atractive and I have a great career, but I can't avoid feeling the way I am, can some one give any perspective? I don't know if I should talk to him about this or not, what should i do? i have even think in leave him don't know what to do
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female
reader, SuziQ  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 All I can say is, dont give up on this guy.
He seems to totally adore you. Cherish what you have with him and the time you spend together. Not every one finds what you have.
If you feel you have to talk to him about the way you feel then by all means go ahead but tread lightly and watch how you word things.
Why not suggest that he introduce you to a few people?
As for your family, try not to let them get to you, they sound very selfish and nasty people. If thats the way they want to treat you then let them get on with it, you cant let them get you down and especially dont show them that. They do say you cant choose your family.
Good Luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): I think that you should go with your heart.. Love and honor yourself.
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A
female
reader, missindependant +, writes (1 October 2008):
 I think maybe you are overreacting and this guy seems great. Trust is all part of a reltionship and without it there is no realationship. So yes I suggest you talk to him about it. And depending on the way he reacts to this I think this will show you all the answers you need
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Minxy68 +, writes (1 October 2008):
I really think you should talk to your boyfriend, but I wouldnt let him know how insecure you really are. I dont think you should leave him as that would make you much more depressed. Maybe some counselling would help you at this point in your life. Try to contact you family and get that link back that youre missing. I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): why not just go home and that way you'll solve a lot of your problems. It sounds to me that you have a lot to be happy about and you're looking for problems where none exist. I always tell everyone who comes to this wonderful and grand country that if you can't cut it here, nobody's asking you to stay. We give people like you opportunity that you'd never have (which is indeed why you also came here) and if you don't like it or if you're not happy here, we don't keep you, you can go. So maybe you should just go.
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