A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have met Mr Wondeful after all these years... yet I am not sure anymore.I had a very difficult time in my 20's, I spent 5 years in an abusive relationship and when I finally found the courage to leave I got struck by illness and suffered the effects for nearly 2 years after that.Yet I managed to build up my self confidence and found that ever since I turned 30 I have had load of success with guys at long last.I have met a wonderful guy, we spent some great time together, we really get on, he loves me for who I am and thinks the world of me.Yet now that my life is looking up I am not sure whether I want to settle down, time is flying by and, call it midlife crisis but I do want to enjoy my time while I still can.Also he is in a bit of a difficult financial situation, he lives far from me so we have to spend a fortune of rail fares and I pretty much have to bail him out, even though I do not have that much money myself, money I would somehow rather spend on me (he is very proud and refuses I pay for anything but then that is the only way for us to do anything and go out.)I feel stuck I don't know if I really want to commit to him but I am afraid to lose him, I might
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female
reader, Dannygirl  +, writes (27 April 2007):
"Yet now that my life is looking up I am not sure whether I want to settle down" There is no reason why you can't share this uplifting with your partner. I find when things go my way, my bf is the first person I want to share it with."Also he is in a bit of a difficult financial situation"This can be a real hardship on relationships. I know myself that my bf and I have had some pretty stressful times financially and honestly it is really tough. Maybe you could suggest some positive ideas for him to remedy his situation. Be supportive and encouraging...don't nag! It only makes men more resistant."I feel stuck" This is bad...primarily because you should never feel stuck ina relationship. Basically you have a very important decision to make, for yourself...You have to really decide if the relationship is worth enough to you to sacrifice. In the end all relationship will survive or fail based on this "sacrifice" or lack of. The trouble is that if you care about someone it is often hard to distinguish between what your heart wants and what you actually need. Bottom line, you have a tough decision, and a whole lot of weighing to do. In the end, either way, you will be just fine.
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