A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 21 years old and I've never been in a relationship. Over the past year I've got close to a guy I used to work with. We've been friends for 4 years now and we have slept together a few times. Wwe agreed to keep it casual but now almost a year after we first slept together I wanted more which probably always happens in these cases. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship so I told him I think we should just be friends because I can't carry on sleeping with him and ignore my feelings for him. I'm finding it really hard though. I feel like I'm going through a break up but I'm not because we weren't going out. He said to me he misses my company and he wants me to go to his house so we can chat and he's gunna cook us something. He knows I won't sleep with him again unless it was gunna go somewhere and I know he wouldn't get me over to his house just for sex coz he isn't like that, he's a genuinly nice down to earth person. I'm just confused as to why he asked me to go to his house. I just can't stop thinking about him, I don't know how to get over him... I was really upset when he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. We hopefully are always gunna be really good friends. How do I get over this? I want my feelings to go so I can move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): theres no way to rush getting over him, these things just take time and thats all there is to it... if there was a way to rush the process you'd make millions off it!
in a way its very like a breakup so dont feel stupid for feeling the way u do what you're doing is making a decision that your not willing to settle anymore and thats very similar to breaking up with someone
odds are he likes u too but just isnt able to give u what u need or want, but it doesnt stop him wanting to c u! id say dont wait for him even if he does have feelings for u even if he ever became your boyfriend odds are you would always want more than hes willing to give... just take a bit of time away from him for a few wks to help clear your head ... being friends without the benefits will be hard at first so time away from him will make it a little easier
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