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I feel like such a loser!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I feel like the biggest loser in the world.

I'm 18, have recently started univeristy and I feel completely alone. Everyone around me in my old town seemed to be in a relationship, and here at University everyone seems so confident when talking about them. I've never really had a relationship longer than a few weeks and I've never had sex. Recently I've been thinking about this all of the time and It's lead to what feels like a constant depression. I wouldn't have cared as much, but I'm 18! I feel as though I should be much more social than I am right now and I definately should have had sex at least once.

I don't mind being an outside, but this has really been bothering me. Is it really so strange to be this way?

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A male reader, N3m0   +, writes (29 September 2010):

hey man, dont worry i had started when i was 14, but either way, in the end youll end up having sex. if its not at 18 itll be 19 and 20 and so on. theres always hope and the best way to increase your chances is to get out there and make friends, guys girls anything, 1 friend has more friends, so really get out there and youll know when its coming. lol P.S be friendly to both sexes maybe a guy friend has a friend(female) whos looking for just the type of guy your are. =) good luck bro

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (27 September 2010):

I don´t get why 18 should be the magic number. Why should you have had sex by now? Why should you have a relationship? Because you're now officially an adult? Give me a good reason.

Being depressed because you're not a natural herd follower is normal these days, it seems. Funny, because everyone "wants to stand out from the crowd" with their style or the way they act. Yet when it comes to sex and relationships we all want to be a part of the "normal" people.

You're 18. You've got plenty of time. Besides, famous beautiful people like Jessica Alba and Adriana Lima didn't lose their virginity until they were older than you, so I don't see why you should make any haste. Just do it when you feel comfortable, not when you're pressured. Don't see hurdles when there aren't any.

I had my first real bf when I was 21. I'm not weird or abnormal by any means.

I bet the person you want to be isn't someone who is afraid of other people's judgment.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010):

Hey man!

Feeling a little jealous that everyone else is happy and content with their relationships around you is normal. It's like hey I want that but dont have it. I hope no one rubs it in to you as itd be immature and very very harsh. Youre 18, this is very young, and I can tell you feel pressured by what is around you. Im in the same boat. In fact, I recently gave in but with careful consideration and decision making thru counseling as I was depressed, angry, and oh so ever god damn frustrated. Im 25 and losing my virginity in two weeks to three women. Yes, three. I have my reasons and thought processes in doing so but that doesnt mean Im gonna sit here and tell you to do the same thing. Youre so young bud, give life a chance, be a little more patient, brods appear outta nowhere when youre least looking for one. If everyone is with someone, that gives a chance to be more independent and define yourself thru social activities or even a gym. I highly recommend exercise as its a cure for everything...I hit the gym so hard nowadays I dont have the energy to think, to be pissed off, or even feel sad. My mood is stable, I feel more alive, and more importantly I know im doing myself some good which helps gain back confidence I have lost. Believe me man, when you take the time to mature and grow, you'll attract women no matter what age. Its good to do it at youre age because it creates a foundation for who you become and who you are so dont focus on sex, relationships, take time to come into your own and develop yourself and everything else will come along with it. good luck.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (27 September 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntNo its not strange to feel like this, you have begun uni and your life is starting to change so i guess you feel like you have been left behind and you are expecting so much more from yourself, well 18 isnt that old and you should never rush in to losing your virginity until you find someone special and caring, there is no rush for this so try not to think off it as a big deal. If you feel left out at uni why dont you join a group am sure there are plenty of fun groups to join and you will soon start making friends, once you have start going out socializing with them at night and enjoy the student life. A girl will come along at some point but concentrate on making friendships first. Good luck

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