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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a long distance relationship and have been so for a number of years. It has been quite stormy and we've had our ups and downs. I love him dearly, but the final straw was when he cheated on me and I found out. We had a break for a number of months, even though I didn't contact him he tried contacting me I was angry and ignored him. Eventually I gave in because I missed him being in my life so much. Anyway we got back together and everything seemed great and I was hoping things would go back to the way they were before his cheating incident. But now it seems as though I'm doing all the running, texting first, phoning etc. Why is it when I'm not interested he pulls out all the stops and now when things should be great together he's dragging his feet?He tells me that he loves me, but the last few weekends he has had reasons for us not meeting up, lack of money, couldn't face the travel this time due to tiredness etc. But he still found time to go clubbing with his mates. I'm feeling at the end of my tether now, I don't want to push things and scare him away. Another thing too is he has had his mobile switched off on a number of occassions, I know that it could be to poor reception. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt when he says its not switched off, put part of me is dying inside to think he could be cheating again. What should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): It must be hard for you to trust him now and annoying to be stuck with lack of communication and the possibility of him cheating. He is fightened to lose you, thats why he pulls out all the stops when things get bad. But hes also out for what ever he can get away with, he knows hes got you back and he knows how far he can push it and so he does.
Obviously you can do better than him, but thats up to you to decide. You should try talking to him, and dont let him have a go for you questioning, after all he has already cheated on you.
Stop and think how this could be in years to come if things continue as they are, is that really the future you want? If your going to stay with him then you need to tuffen up and make him realise your not going to be messed about. Otherwise move on and find someone thats worth your time.
Hope this advice helps :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Scared of chasing him away i would be putting up big signs telling him to GET LOST!!! Come on have some self respect. He is just using you. He was too tired to come and see you then went clubbing. You are worth better than that. Give him the boot. Do you need him so desperately. I don't think so. Get it together girl and get rid of this idiot.
Best wishes
xx
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