A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 20 years old. A virgin, (no one knows,because i dont really tell anyone) to be honest i've had one boyfriend which lasted for about a month and i ended things through texts.I feel like i'm afraid of love?could that be possible?i met this guy online (i'm not getting catfished, because all my friends know him) but there were times we would have to meet up and i'd always cancel last minute. Guys always message me, or approach me in public, most of the time i give them my number not because im interested but because i dont like to reject anyone face to face. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with the guys that text/message me i just am not interested. I want a relationship and marriage. Its just that i like talking to guys over phone/or social media i dont know how to act face to faceplease help mehow do i lose the fear i currently live in?
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (16 October 2013):
Chatting to guys via messaging services is okay whilst your single, if you were in a relationship with some-one they would probably have an issue with it.
You may not be afraid of love, at the young age of 20 you just mightn’t have met some-one yet you’ve been really interested in.
If you get apprehensive when dating, this may well indicate that you have a mature understanding of the fact that to fall for some-one is always an enormous emotional risk: the harder you fall, the higher the stakes: the worse you’ll feel if rejected, the more you’d lose if you misjudged somebody and they let you down.
Being aware of this is useful and you can use it to your advantage by making sure that when you do like some-one, you take things slowly and only move things on when you’re ready and feel you’ve got to know them. Don’t rush in but allow yourself to grow in to feeling comfortable with some-one. Then you’ll realise it’s not being in love you fear, but that this concern you have is your awareness that love can’t cloud rational judgement.
I’d love to meet whoever it was that came up with the romantic notion that love conquers everything, he or she was quite wrong.
Your attitude is sensible though, and when you do fall in love it’ll serve you well.
I wish you all the very best.
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