A
female
age
26-29,
*auraa.
writes:Hey :) So I recentley started going out with this really great boy. And things are great, he say's he loves me alot, and that he wants a long serious relationship. However, I am 14 years old, and he is 16, and I'm not a naive little girl, and a long serious realtionship at 16 involves sex. We have spoke about sex and foreplay before, and he told me that he will wait, and that he dont care if I'm not ready, and he only wants to make me happy. The thing is I want too become more intimate, not nesscarily go all the way, but go further than kissing. Yet at the same time I know I shouldn't do anything more than a kiss at my age. And also I feel that if I don't do anything with him he will loose intrest and think I'm a imature little girl. I'm really stuck between what to do. :/ Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks Laura. :] xx
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female
reader, hunkydory +, writes (3 August 2009):
I know exactly where you are coming from but if you dont feel comfortable about having sex yet then you aret ready. You are being very mattuer about it but if you just give in and do what doesnt feel right for you then you will regret it, trust me. Your boyfriend seems very understanding which is good, and you are able to talk to your botfriend about sex and foreplay, maybe you should talk about how you feel about the situation and see what he says. As for him leaving you, if he leaves you he obvs didnt love you as much as he says.
Good luck, but remember only do things when you are ready, and have fun! xx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 August 2009):
If he wants a long serious relationship with you then he wants that KNOWING he may not get any for a couple of years.
Boys don't NEED sexual stuff to enjoy your company.
If he won't wait then he doesn't care about you. You say you have only just started seeing him so this shouldn't be an issue for a good long while yet.
Besides, just because he says he wants a relationship that will last a long time, doesn't mean it will happen. You haven't agreed to marry him, you have just said you like him and will go out with him.
What happens happens and him saying he's in for the long haul just means he's a nice guy. It doesn't mean anything when it comes to sexual stuff.
Always remember that you are the one who gets pregnant so you are ALWAYS in control.
Your body, your rules.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): if you both are contemplating sex or anything else you should be able to talk about it,talk about what your ready for and not just because he is 16 does not give him a pass to make you think you have to have sex with him and is this is what he thinks then he isnt worth anything.
dont do anything untill you are completely ready hunni
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): If your bf wants a long serious relationship and if he really loves you he would wait until you are completely ready to have sex with him.
If you decide that you dont want sex cos you are not ready and he dumps you.... well theres your answer... he was only with you because he wanted sex.
Not having sex with your bf because you are not ready - that is being mature. Having sex just to try and keep him interested - that is immature.
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