A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i feel completely addicted to my fiance. we have been together coming up to 4 years and since the very start of our relationship almost we have pretty much lived together. we do almost everything together besides work. normally in relationships i get tired of women very quickly. with my fiance i feel a pull towards her like gravity. i dont hang out with friends if i can be with her and its the same for her. we have not spent a night apart in 3 1/2 years. sexually i am still crazy attracted to her and living with her makes it worse seeing her do everyday chores half naked drives me nuts to the point where i would be having sex with her almost constantly if she would allow it.my main question with all this is mainly just whether or not what we are doing is considered healthy.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): Sounds like a match.
I've had that for nearly 20 years...race you to the finish.
A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (21 October 2011):
 there's a word called codependence, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. If both of you are having a good time then go for it. The reason we keep our other friends is for insurance, but you can keep them together. As long as you were a complete person before you met this girl you will be again if you ever split up. I know thats hard to imagine but these things happen. when I say complete person I mean that you can be on your own and be comfortable with yourself, no insecurities overwhelming you. You must also be sure that your girlfiend is comfortable with your level of companionship. she probably is.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 If you are asking if it's healthy I suspect you know that it does sound a bit excessive.
Part of being in a relationship is being apart now and then. I think that having other friends and a few outside separate activites is healthy.
For example... I love yoga. My boyfriend thinks getting off the couch for anything other than a snack is insanity. I go do my yoga at the gym without him. No biggie. I have lunch with the girls. I have dinner out with my friends now and then without him.
It gives us stuff to talk about.
Right now he's off of work and OMG he's like chatty Cathy... he just has NO ONE else to talk to and I'm IT... he needs a diversion.
Yes being madly in love and wanting her is GREAT... and your feelings for her are great but a time may come when you are both feeling a bit smothered or one of you is and the other is not....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): imho, I always disagree when people say that you shouldnt be mainly focused on your relationship. Sure it is healthy to be social and engage in activities w/friends etc, however in the long run if you two end up together that person will be the main person in your life. Everything else might change, but ideally a spouse is always there. A partnership takes a lot of love and dedication and often when married you will spend most of your time together, so it is good that you know you two can stand long periods together w/out external contact with others. Some go crazy! but when you have a job, house, family, pets, marriage, etc to work on down the line (if thats what you want), you will often not have time for friends with rare exceptions and will spend most of your free time w/your SO. Thats often how life works, so I think being able to be so close and focused on each other is great. You should try to maybe squeeze in a bit more friend time for you both, but otherwise sounds awesome. a lot like me and my fiance :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 October 2011):
 So . . . what the hell can possibly be unhealthy about that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): to me everything sounds great EXCEPT for the part about how you and her have both neglected your other friendships in favor of being with each other. it's not healthy if your entire life revolves around one person, no matter how great that person is.
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