A
female
age
30-35,
*assy1011
writes:Hi I'm in a rather serious relationship with a guy, we have been together for 1 year 2 months. We also live together. Yesterday when I returned from work he told me that there were two "hot chicks" that came to our home to renew our contract. He just had to tell me how "hot" they were, he even said that they looked like american models. This made me feel insecure and small. I never said anything, I just feel that it was wrong of him to jump to tell me how hot they were, this also makes me feel like he has a wandering eye. Even though I apreciate his honesty it hurts. This is really bothering me. What advice do you have for me?
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female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 first of all, u should be happy at least he said something, he could of eyed them up and kept quiet. women are so weird at times, its a catch 22 with us because we want men to be honest and tell us if we look fat in a dress but get all bent out of shape when they do, or get all weird and hurt when they say we dont. im not saying to be competitive with him, but try complimenting on some hot dudes u see, and see if or how he reacts. if he doesnt react negatively, then i dont see the problem. complimentings ok. and as long as it stays there why worry? at the end of the day hes with u. unless hes cheating on u, id have fun and be like, hey, that guy looks like he could be in gq? what do u think? hes got a nice jawline.. its all harmless sweetie depending on the couple and the situation be tween the two. like nif he comments on other hot chicks but gets all jealous when u do on other men? then yes, u have an issue that needs to be addressed. so pull ur panties out of a bunch. and use tact.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 we all know that men will never stop checking out the opposite sex, its wired into them, its instinct. when he was saying this to you, he was not thinking of how it would come across to you, and he was not implying that he wanted to do anything with her. its just the way men think, they like to vocalise wat they see. my boyf sometimes describes some hot girl that he has seen, and to be honest it doesnt bother me, i appreciate that they're hot too, but im secure enough to know that it doesnt go any further than that for him. however, if it does really bother you, then just tell him that while you arent asking him to stop looking at other women, you would just like him to lessen the intimate details. im sure he'll understand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): I agree with the first person who answered. You are not one of the lads, you are his partner and I don't know what sharing this with you is supposed to acheive. Well, it does mean he trusts you and if there was any kind of threat he would have said nothing at all. But it is crass and about as romantic as a cold water douche. Give him some of his own medicine but don't admit you did it to get back at him when you succeed in hurting his feelings. Say something like"Oh, I see what you mean. Now that I think about it I too remember being a bit hurt when you went on about those girls who came around. I know, let's agree to think about that before saying things like it in future. After all you are the most sexy person to me".
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 You need to grow up and accept that it is a man's lingo and it does not mean that he is comparing you to them.
You do have an inferiority complex.Those men are just simple beings and describe them as it is. They do not think deeper and they don't know it can hurt you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): We all know men have a good look at other women and for all the men out there that don't think women look then there is news for you. However one thing you don't do is boast about it or even describe what you've been gawping at - not to the one person you are supposed to love and respect. Emphasis on the word respect. This behaviour is slightly cruel, definitely immature and 100% disrespectful. I can only think of what to do would be to come back from work or wherever one day and say "Wow hey you know what there is a new guy at work and jeez he is so gorgeous I mean all of us thought he must be a model or even a male stripper I mean he has the body for it." Just see what kind of reaction you get. Failing that, and if it continues I would get rid because quite honestly do you need to feel like 2nd best? Your boyfriend needs to learn some manners - and fast.
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