A
male
age
22-25,
vineet
writes:Hi, I am a virgin in my early twenties.I was suffering from depression for the last two years. The depresion was due to difference of opinion between me and my dad. Although I was not happy to go by his opinions but could not dishearten him and feel depressed. This turned into a long time depression and I could not get out of it. May be because I was sensitive to that. I remained away from friends and work. I am close to my mom and discussed with her and doctors. The outcome from the discussion was that If may be I go for marriage or some continual relation with a girl friend could lift the depression. But the condition I was in I had lost intrest in girls too. My mother knew that and she was depressed also. She cant see me depressed any more. One day when I was feeling anxious and depressed, to relieve it she gave me a hug I said that my depression will never go and there is no need for anything. She was wearing loose clothes so I felt my private part touching her lower area. That particular thought made me feel odd at that time. Then I went for an outing to a hill station but that thought of my pvt part touching her body is making me feel odd, anxious all the time.I am getting some sort of panic also. I am doubly anxious. Now i am getting marriage proposals but I am wondering that first I get rid of this thought and then i will go for marriage because i dont wanna go for marriage in anxious depressed mood. What should I do. Is getting rid of it a big deal.. Please help..
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male
reader, vineet +, writes (15 December 2007):
vineet is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I have refined my problem what I posted before more accurately because I could not get a satisfying answer.May be this will help. So I am a virgin in my early twenties.I was suffering from anxiety for an year or so. That was due to difference of opinion between me and my dad. Although I was not happy to go by his opinions but could not dishearten him and feel depressed. May be because I was sensitive to that. I remained away from friends and work. I am close to my mom and discussed with her and doctors. The outcome from the discussion was that If may be I go for marriage or some continual relation with a girl friend could lift the depression. But the condition I was in I had lost intrest in girls too. My mother knew that and she was depressed also. She cant see me depressed any more. One day when I was feeling anxious and depressed, to relieve it she gave me a hug and loosened her clothes.I thought that my depression will never go and there is no need for anything. Also I felt my private part touching her lower area. That particular thought made me feel odd at that time. Then I went for an outing to a hill station but that thought of my pvt part touching her body is making me feel odd, anxious all the time.I am getting some sort of panic also.I have no more trouble with my Dad now and everythings alright but the second thought make me anxious now.Now i am getting marriage proposals but I am wondering that first I get rid of this thought and then i will go for marriage because i dont wanna go for marriage in anxious depressed mood. My friends ask me about the prob and I dont know what to say. What should I do. Is getting rid of it a big deal.. Please help..
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (7 December 2007):
 Depression, when it comes from events and not a chemical imbalance, is not from what 'others do to us'. It is our body's signal that we have not reacted according to our personal values. What I am saying is that your father's opinions do not cause your depression. You have to navigate the line between following your inner wisdom and treating your father with respect. (Complying with your father does not mean that you are respecting him.) This is what has caused your turmoil.
Did you know that the longer you do not make the right choices according to your inner wisdom, and the longer that you are depressed, that your brain's chemicals are altered ... and now you probably are chemically imbalanced? Do not be alarmed because it does not have to be a permanent thing. This is why people that work out love to exercise: the endorphins are lovely chemicals for the brain to bathe in. If working out is not an option for you, speak to a doctor. Perhaps a short-term prescription of antidepressants coupled with counseling can help you. Do not fear: taking medication does not have to be a life sentence.
As for the unintentional touch with your mother: that is what it was. Let it go. It happened at that moment, but replaying it in your mind over and over is what makes it seem 'wrong' because it keeps happening, almost making it intentional. Meditate and release it.
I see that you are from India and maybe I am ignorant about cultural things for you, maybe my attempts to help you see that you have the power to meet your needs will be misunderstood. Please know that my heart is in the right place and I hope you are able to create the peace that you crave, in your heart. Marriage and other things will come in due time, but now ... focus on making your own choices which can include treating your father with respect.
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A
female
reader, josien  +, writes (7 December 2007):
what is the current relation with ur dad now?it looks like he was the cause of your depression.i think if you build your relation again it can help you overcome the depression. opting for marriage when your still depresed my not work out because you may have a sad marriage yet your supposed to be happy. so my dear friend try hearing out your dad's opinions.
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