A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here is the situation. Since my first year in high school i started dating a girl. After about 6 months of dating we're getting together in a relationship. Up to now its almost 2 years being together. There are lots of ups and downs in our relationship. About a year plus into our relationship i started notice another girl. This new girl is my current girlfriend's bestfriend. There was once my girlfriend found out that i have crush on her friend and wanted to breakup with me. I sort of defended and promised not to think of her anymore. I don't know why? Shouldn't I be happy to break up? My girlfriend forgive me and life went on. I guess i did manage to control myself for quiet sometime despite me, my girlfriend, her bestfriend and our group of friends always hang out together frequently and seeing each other daily on campus. Just recently this feeling came back. I just cant stop feeling jealous when i know that there is a guy starting to have a crush on my girlfriend's bestfriend. My girlfriend found out again and wanted to breakup. Once again i defended and the breakup didnt occur. I just cant take it to see my girlfriend cry. And i dont wanna hurt her since our finals are very very near.Without my girlfriend's knowledge i confessed to this girl. She was shock to know that maybe. She's speechless when i told her i liked her. All she managed to say was i'm very gentalmen and a nice and caring person. Before, this girl was nice, caring, talkative around me. But after the confession, i can feel that she is avoiding me or feeling stress at my presence. Although there are not credible source to this. It is totally based on my thoughts. Somehow i regretted confessing to her. The reason i confessed to her was because i want to get a 'confirmation' from her that we will only be friends and wouldn't be together so that i can focus on my girlfriend only.What should i do?I kept listing out the attributes of what i wanted but now i don't know how to proceed.about my girlfriend:pros:she is cute. She is caring. she really love me.cons:always sleep pass midnight which i really don't like. always argue over small problems. likes criticizing about other people's bad things.about the new girl:pros:she is pretty. she is considerate. She is caring. good to all her friends. she have this motherly caring(she help her mom babysit for others).cons:(i cant think of one. i believe this is due to biasness)when comes to something about money she always give it a second thought. I can understand that since she is not from a rich family. Whereas my girlfriend is almost the opposite. My girlfriend is not those that like to spend money buying lots of cloths type but as long as spending money for our fun then she is okay with it.After our finals, my girlfriend will be away for about a month. And before all the confession thingy happen i always planned to date this new girl out secretly. I know that she will go out with me since she said this before "its okay to accompany a friend out, rite".But now i don't know what will happen if i ask her out.I don't know what i should do next? What should be my decision? Breaking up with my girlfriend so that i can at least have a chance with this new girl? probably she wouldn't dare to accept me since she clearly know that my breakup with because of her. Is this an act of disloyal? Will i do the same thing to this new girl if i happen to get together with her?how will our friends look at us? our friends that are close to us are all our same close friends. I need advice... Feel free to ask me for any missing details... please help...
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best friend, crush, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionya probably she won't even dare to talk to me even if i breakup. But what will happen after like a year after me being single?
Another thing i'm worry of is if i do breakup. Will i repeat the same mistake since i've done it once before. Or things will be different, just like chemicals, different chemical reaction gives different result?
thank you very much.
A
male
reader, garcypher  +, writes (31 May 2009):
We can all fancy other people even if we are married, but we don't act on these passing feelings if we love the person we are with, unless you are not happy and want to move on.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (31 May 2009):
You already know she doesnt want you so making any further moves is unwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Your not in love with your girlfriend and her friend, well she sounds loyal to her friend and it seems to me she doesn't like you in that way. So even if she fancied you and you broke up with your g/f, this girl won't touch you out of loyalty. Why don't you break away from both of them your obviously don't love your g/f.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiongarcypher, thank you very much for your reply.
before, probably i still stand a small chance.
after, i'm not so sure about it. maybe i'm thinking too much but to me she seems like avoiding me.
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A
male
reader, garcypher +, writes (31 May 2009):
If you don't want to be with your girlfriend because you fancy someone else then it's already over with you both wether the other girl wants you or not.
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