A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 year's old going on 17 and my boyfriend, that's 18 and we've been together for about a year in a half, we want to have a baby or babies. People say that were to young and crazy because we both love kids so much..we watch my neice and nephew and his neice and nephew just about every day from age newborn to age 8, sometimes they ware us out but we love them with all of our hearts. I'm going 2 college to get a degree in early childhood development or child pychology. The only resson we don't is our parents well mostly mine they are realy strict and think i should watch till after college but i don't want to wait..i just want to know what i should do.help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Becky1792 +, writes (27 January 2012):
 Hi. I am totally going thru the same thing. i am 19 now, resposible and I have a job, but if I want to have a child my parents rag on me and tell me they will disown me if i did. But I think it should be my descision and if you have a job and can support the child I say go ahead because if you dont you are letting your parents make your decisions in which you should be making them not your parents. ps. my parents are very strict too. :)
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female
reader, Tashinalove +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Wow. You know, I understand how you feel. I was once 17 too, and I remember feeling the same way...
We are all different and we all have our own destinies, but I'm going to fill you in on my perspective today...I highly recommend-HIGHLY-that you wait AS LONG AS POSSIBLE to have children. If you truly love kids the way you say you do, you will wait. I totally understand how you might not see things through my eyes, and no matter what anyone says, you will just have to make your own decisions-and you will. But know this-it takes 2 whole people to raise a healthy, happy child. Anything less than 2 whole individuals is just a sad disaster.
If I were you, I would focus on myself. My passions. The things I love doing most. You have your ENTIRE LIFE ahead of you. That's such an amazing thing! Do everything in your power to become the BEST person you can be. Anf in the future, when you are completely ready to have children, you will be an amazing parent.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay
i agree with everyone that I should wait till i'm finacialy stable. About getting fat i don't care. And about it's different when there yours. Trust me i know the differnce because my boyfriends neice and nephew are basicly ours we take care of them all day almost everyday and night. There parents aren't right together. They haven't grown up and they treat the youngest thats 4 months like a accessery. The oldest thats two they teach her to say mean things and to be rude. So the resson i wrote this was because if i was ready to take care of there lives i figured i could take care of my own. But i kno now i need to be more finacialy stable
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): If you stay healthy then you've probably got another 60 years to live. And you stay healthy then you've probably still got another 25 years of fertility ahead too.
There's a million reasons to wait. But I can't think of any decent reasons that doing it now is so much better than 2-5 years from now.
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female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (27 June 2008):
Ok I was just like you. I really lost my interest in having a baby when I moved on my own after I graduated from high school. I am in college and I am getting a double major in nursing and psychology with a minor in child development. It is hard to pay my rent and other bills and still afford groceries and me and my fiance live together. When you move out on your own and can afford to take care of yourself with some extra money then consider having a baby. It is very expensive to raise a baby. Just with dippers, wipes and formula it is about 300-400 a month. That doesn't include baby wash, clothes, toys, or anything else you might need! I think you should wait not until you are out of college but until you can afford to pay for a baby without getting on WIC or welfare. You might not be able to afford a baby until you are out of college. I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): As much as that you are going to hate this; I have to be honest with you; YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT; wait untill after college;
Now let me explain; after college you will have so much more insight, time and patience; you wil be more mature and your relationship stronger;
I can continue with the list for a long time' sure you have heard it all;
Seeing that you love kids so much and want them so badly; start preparing for them; financially; Then when you are finished with college you are in a better position to afford them; because believe me; if you want the best for them.....which I am sure you do; it is expensive!
Oh just hang in there a little longer; don't let the hormones and "broodiness" take controll"; you are intelligent....You know what to do!
Children are not toys, you cannot cast them aside; when they are your own, it is SO different then baby sitting;
Complete your studies.....in the meanwhile, vow,practise with all the baby sitting!
Take care; BE WISE!
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female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Ok .. lets put it this way!
Are you ready for
Getting fat
Going through many changes not only with your body but with your relationship as well (pregnancy chnges everything)
Losing your sleep,freedom,tiemes with your friends, time when you can just do whatever you want to do, traveling, school, parties .. etc
Once you have a child .. there is NO MORE YOU! there is the baby.
You are way to young. .. and let me tell you. Guys in your guys age are NOT ready to have a family. He maigh be excited now, because he does now, what is it about, but once he seez it, he will go crazy and he will leave you alone! It maigh not happen, but 99% men will do it!
Take your time, dont rush ..
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): i had my first baby at 18 was 17 when i got pregnant i am now 27 have 3 kids and on my own its hard no money no freinds no boyfriend keeping up with bills is hard i wouldn't change my kids i don regret them but i wish i had waited for the right time
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reader, gbabyhavnababy  +, writes (26 June 2008):
OK darlin I can absolutely relate with you as I have felt the same way since I was about 16 too.
Now I am 21 and pregnant with my first baby...and honestly its not all its cracked up to be.
I know once it comes its going to be great and I love he/she to pieces however your relationship will change with your boyfriend immediately.
You have to start stressing about finances and what you can and cannot afford. Your hormones are going through the roof and most of the time you cannot stand to be around him.
Also take into consideration that at 16 although I am sure you love your boyfriend very much and him the same for you alot can change as you get older....mainly that relationship.
The guy I was in love with at 16 I cannot imagine being with now...I know nobody can tell you that now but I am sure if you just wait to have everything in place a little more you will be relieved.
Obviously this will be your decision ultimately, and if you decide to have a baby it will all work out, but it would be better for you, your boyfriend, and the baby if you wait :)
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (26 June 2008):
 The reason they want you to wait untill after college is that once you have a child, you have very little time to go to school, and do homework. It will effect you in some way, wether it be stress, or lack of time. I had my first at 19 and was prreeeetttyyyy occupied from that pointon. I had no time for a whole lot of things, let alone sitting and doing homework in silence. Shoot, I couldnt even go to the bathroom by myself anymore! There is a huge difference between watching a child and raising one. Sure, you have to keep an eye on them, but what about the financial stuff, and the health stuff, and school, etc? There's a whole lot more to raising a child than changing diapers and jolding them. I'm not saying you are too young, or immature, I'm saying it is a WHOLE lot easier to raise a child when you have some schooling behind you, and money saved up. A whole lot easier! I'm 25 now, and have a baby girl, almost a year, and between these two kids, I am pretty darn busy. In fact, I am breastfeeding as I type this, lol. There's plenty of time to make a baby, but now is the time to collect the funds. Good luck sweetie, I'm sure you'd be a fantastic mom, once you are financially stable and have the knowlage to keep the funds rolling;)
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reader, Carrie216 +, writes (26 June 2008):
 You should ask yourselves two questions:
1. Are we financially able to support a child?
Children are a big expense, one which I doubt very many teenagers could take on. You could always ask your parents for financial aid...it doesn't seem as if they'd be too keen to help you as they disapprove of the idea.
2. Are we emotionally ready to support a child?
There's a big difference between doing something in theory and actually doing it. Yes, you love taking care of your nieces and nephews, but once you're ready to leave...you can. You can just leave them with your aunt and uncle and go on your merry way. If you have a baby, you can't just be done with them and come back later to play. It's a huge responsibility.
This is something that you really really need to think about. You have to weigh all the pros and cons before you make any decision regarding this. Because once you do it, you can't take it back. So be sure you have no regrets before jumping into the world of parenthood.
Good luck and be well.
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