A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 29, really keen to have children. I have a new bf of a few weeks. I really like him and things are going great. I'm so broody, though, I'm thinking of trying to get pregnant without telling him. If he wants a baby, great, if he doesn't, that's ok, too. I have a good job, but really would like a baby. Would it be immoral to do this? I'm not trying to trap him in any way, I just really want a baby!
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male
reader, Partha  +, writes (13 July 2011):
Certainly , you should go ahead and create as many children as you want without fear or apprehensions . More biological child you create ,more opportunity you create for yourself to survive in future space & time through your DNA /genetic materials even when you have left your current biological body .
I deeply appreciate your desire to have babies . With all humility I wish to tell you I deeply appreciate your effort to enjoy "joy of biological Motherhood ".
Wish you good health and opportunities to fullfill your dreams & desires .
A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (28 September 2010):
I always find these posts very worrying. When desire for a baby overrides someone's rational thought to the extent that they believe unacceptable behaviour is justifiable, serious questions need to be asked about fitness to parent, in my opinion.
It is trapping him and it is immoral.
If you are that desperate for a baby and don't care about whether it has a father then go to a sperm bank. At least that way you have a willing donor and not just some poor guy who you have duped into it.
Why do you want to deny a baby the chance to grow up with a willing father who chose to start a family rather than simply procreate because YOU want a baby, regardless of anyone else involved?
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A
male
reader, fordyboy +, writes (28 September 2010):
 My ex did something along these lines to me. It's heartless and cruel. It's people that do this that give women a bad name. Lets say you go down this line. How much involvement will you give the dad with the baby? what if the 2 of you split up? you say it's ok if he dont want a baby, but what about finacially? Dont do this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): To use him for your own selfish ends would be wrong wrong wrong. Would it be ok for him to force you against your wishes to have a child and into a life long commitment?
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Yes it's extremely immoral. You will be trapping him, lying to him, not to mention tying him to you financially forever. If you want a baby that badly and cannot wait then go to a sperm bank. But it's incredibly wrong to trick someone into this.
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Sorry but you can't do that. You shouldn't do that. When someone wants no kids, there may be more reasons behind it than just not being ready or wanting freedom. My friend wants no kids because he's schizophrenic and since it's genetic, he doesn't feel he could do that to a child. We try and convince him otherwise but it's HIS life and choice. By law, your guy would have rights and responsibilities to the child. So, if you want a baby, get a sperm donor. You could also talk to this guy and have legal papers drawn up that free him of responsibility for the baby he gives you. But, I have to tell you, growing up without a dad is VERY tough. And this man, if he chooses to be a dad to the child, you don't know what you'll get. You don't know him enough. What if he believes in spanking? Military school? Or too laid back? Another thing, certain blood types dont match well. So if u and this man have that blood disparity, the baby could be in danger of being born sick. Please think about this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Your biological clock has started.. Trust me, this is normal for people your age. You just need to control it and it starts to fade a bit. You need to think about the situation more. What kind of responsible, loving parent would try to bring a baby into your situation? You would be a single parent working. Who's caring for the baby? Daycare costs hundreds of dollars a month. You're not going to be working during the last few months of pregnancy- where's the money coming from? And yes, it would be immoral.
Babies aren't just cute little cuddly things. They need constant attention, to be changed and wiped, to be fed and cared for. You can expect about 2 hrs of sleep a night. It is HARD, mostly NOT FUN work.. And they don't just stay babies, they grow up.
Come on, you're an adult. Think responsibly. We can't just have babies just because we want to. That's putting a burden on your future child that they don't deserve.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Yes it would be very immoral and very very selfish, you have been dating a few weeks??? Come on see sence here your old enough to know that this isnt the right way to behave. A few weeks is not long enough to know each other to be thinkin of having a child and you are messing with his life here, you obviously dont think that much off him if you would think off doing something like that behind his back, its just horrible and its just wrong, if you are so desperate for a child fair enough but you risk losing everything here, if you really cant get this idea out of your head then all you can do is tell your boyfriend how you feel, but dont be surprised if he runs.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Yes, it would be immoral to trick your boyfriend into getting you pregnant. You know it's immoral, or you would ask him for your help. The fact is, even if your boyfriend doesn't want a baby, he may be a stand-up sort of guy who will feel morally compelled (but embittered) to be there, financially or physically, for his offspring. Or what if he chooses not to be a part of the child's life, but the child comes looking for him 15 years down the road when he has his own wife and children? It would likely be a disaster.
My advice is to wait a few years and find a guy who wants to have a family with you, or undego artificial insemination. If you're dead-stuck on getting this guy to impregnant you, you must first tell him your desire, discuss repercussions with him, and get his permission. If he's not 100% on board with this baby idea, don't do this to him. It's wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): what is wrong with you? You don't even know him. Its only been a few weeks, that is a big decision to make without even knowing someone. wait until you guys have been together for awhile and then discus it with him to see what he thinks. He could be some freak if you have only known him for a few weeks. There is nothing wrong with having a baby in your early 30's. Get to know him first before you mess up your life, your child's, life and maybe even his life.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (27 September 2010):
Yes, it is immoral. Even if you're not trying to trap him, he should have a right to know if you're trying to have his baby. Even if you say he doesn't have to be involved, he likely would want to be involved or at least feel compelled to. It could affect his future relationships with others. His future children would have a half-sibling.
If you want to have children so much, go to a sperm donor. He deserves to know that he would be trying to have a baby.
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