A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to a wonderful man for 7 years. He is a great husband in all areas, except one: he wants to swing/have an open relationship. He's had them before with previous girlfriends, but didn't mention anything about it before we were married. He has even laid out rules for this kind of relationship. I have refused to go along (I married him because I don't want other guys), but he and his "friends" (mostly female, ex-partners) keep trying to push me. It's tearing me up!Any suggestions or thoughts? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tommy2k7  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 At the end of the day, if someones pressures you into doing something you don't want, they dont really love you, or if they do, they have a very weird way of showing it!
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I think that's where you draw the line and say no, definitely not.
If you wanted to do it, then that would be another matter, but you've made it clear that you don't.
If it was something a little bizarre and kinky in the privacy of your own bedroom between the two of you, then I would encourage you to give it a try even if you weren't too happy - but when it involves other people I think you have every right to dig your heels in and refuse to go along with it.
I would only add that when you refuse to do this with him, it would be a tactical move to find something else to help soften the blow of disappointment. IS there something bizarre and kinky that he's always wanted to do in the privacy of your own bedroom? (Rhetorical question. I really don't want to know!!)
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