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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Is it possible that a man who can't make love to his wife, due to erection problems from undiscovered psychological problems, can make love to an other women if he falls in love?I mean my wife thinks, if I get turned on from someone else, I will get back my sexual desire.Could she be right? I have no medical reason for this, but the sex therapist couldn't figure it out, if my problem is permanent, or just connected to my wife.I don't want lose my marriage over sex, do you have any advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): 10 Great sex tips for Impotence sufferersWhilst men struggling with impotence may not immediately see the benefit of advice and reminders on how to enjoy a good sex life. Especially as it may be some time since they last saw any real action in the trouser department. Well, TAKE NOTE- A recent clinical trial of a little known herb called Butea Superba has improved the sexual performance of over 84% of all the men who are taking it. The results of these trials can be viewed on the HealthyED.co.uk website. So if you need to address you personal performance or just want better erectile performance go to the HealthyED website. Naturally, everyone wants to be a better lover and have better sex. Many people are self-conscious about their skills as a lover or a sex partner; this can hinder having a satisfying sex life. Always remember to relax, be communicative, use protection and ultimately have fun. As with every other skill, there are several tips that you can follow to aid you in your sexual endeavors. 1. Be communicative: When engaging in intercourse, tell your partner your sexual likes and dislikes, and encourage them to tell you theirs. This not only strokes your partner’s ego and gets them in the mood, but it will also inform your lover as to what turns you on and what satisfies you sexually. Sharing the sex tips that you have learned in the past can sometimes benefit your current relationship. Learning to discuss sexual matters openly is imperative to a good sex life. As many impotence sufferers will know, having someone to talk takes away some of the pressure and in turn can improve performance. 2. Share your fantasies: Discussing your sexual fantasies with your lover can be fun and will bring you both to a new level of intimacy. This is important for some men and ensures arousal. 3. Engage in foreplay: Foreplay is a great way to excite your mate and build up anticipation for the big event, which ultimately makes for a more powerful climax during intercourse. Having your partner fully understand the best way to getting you hard is essential. 4. Try different positions: One of the oldest sex tips in the book is literally in a book. If the same old positions are getting boring, invest in a copy of the Kama Sutra, an ancient literary gem that outlines a great variety of sex positions and breathing exercises to prolong climax. Trying different positions is also valuable when looking to maintain firmness. 5. Play with toys: If it is something you are comfortable with, head to an erotic boutique with your lover to see what you can purchase to liven up the action in the bedroom. There are several sex toys on the market such as vibrators, velvet-lined handcuffs, lubricants and swings that can help increase sexual pleasure for both men and women. Remember that lubes can play an important role in sustaining the big fella in the bedroom. 6. Engage in role play: As one of the most amusing sex tips, role playing will definitely spice up intercourse. Everyone has a specific sexual scenario that they are curious about and would like to try out. As long as both participants are willing and comfortable with the scenario, dress-up and have fun. 7. Experience a daring place: Although it can be risky; many people claim that having intercourse in a somewhat public spot can be very arousing. The thrill of getting caught gets the adrenaline flowing and increases sexual pleasure. 8. Catch a flick: Watching a pornographic film together or flipping through a pornographic magazine is an entertaining activity that will not only awaken your senses, but will also provide suggestions on new positions or scenarios to try with your partner. 9. Talk dirty talk: Many people get sexually aroused when their lover talks dirty to them. It builds anticipation and triggers a person’s primal instincts. Talking dirty involves letting go of your self-consciousness and allowing your imagination to run wild. Words are very powerful, even more so during intercourse for Ed sufferers. 10. Lights, Camera, and Action: Just because sex is usually performed in a bedroom does not mean that it has to be lights off. Many men and women get turned on by looking at their partner while engaged in intercourse. For more information on the how, the why and the where see www.healthyED.co.uk for details.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Danielpew says 'I have a deep respect for a man who's older than you and treated me much like the son he never had. He opened my eyes to many facts of life, including one that often affects men your age: long years of sex with one person make it difficult to have an erection. It's called routine and boredom. That is why you see so many older men chasing chicks. The novelty is what plays the trick, more than anything else.'
Well can I add that this is exactly the same for women, we feel the thrill of the chase after years of boring sex with the same man...but guess what , most women dont chase younger men...they have too much respect for their partners and themselves...
Lets not make excuses for dirty old men here...gross!
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A
male
reader, rocknroll  +, writes (9 June 2009):
It is very possible that another woman can connect with you in a way that you feel at ease, trusting, and that little bad boy will rise to the occassion.
Has your marriage been loving and caring since you first met?
Have you had this problem throughout your marraige and even while you were single and dating?
Do you get erections while sleeping?
I suggest you consult with a sexologist, also one with Mantra experience, both your wife will like this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): from a guy...
It seems you are saying that your wife would encourage you to have sex with another woman to re-light your romantic flame.
In the abstract it seems perfectly acceptable if it has a chance to work. The problem is, how will everybody feel after it has actually occured? I would think long and, er uh, hard about it before proceeding.
Did the standard ED drugs not work? How about alprostadil, it always works?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): If you've been to a doctor and ruled out all the probable physical causes (which is how I interpret the term "undiscovered psychological problems") then the next step would be to discover the nature of those problems. You might want to visit a counsellor, and I think in this case you would want to start off alone, without your wife present.
It could be a mid-life crisis -- that somehow your subconscious has decided that you're not worthy to have sex, as one example. Or something that has made you so self-conscious that you can't perform.
And it is indeed possible that you're simply bored with married sex.
If you can get some insights from a counsellor, and particularly if they're ones that would hurt your wife, then you can take the time to consider possible solutions, and present the situation to your wife in a way that isn't hurtful to her. It might be something as simple as enlisting her to help you act out fantasies.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Is is very much possible not to be able to have an erection with a woman, and then have a fantastic, long-lasting erection with another, so long-lasting, indeed, that it would seem to be powered by Duracell (and those bunnies, well, they wouldn't have that much staying power anyways). It usually happens when woman number one does not ring a bell, while woman number X does, and quite a lot. Like when you're bored.
I have a deep respect for a man who's older than you and treated me much like the son he never had. He opened my eyes to many facts of life, including one that often affects men your age: long years of sex with one person make it difficult to have an erection. It's called routine and boredom. That is why you see so many older men chasing chicks. The novelty is what plays the trick, more than anything else.
However, I don't think that being turned on by someone else would help you with your dysfunction when sex is to happen with your wife. I assume this is a new problem. Maybe the therapist is not a good one.
You have to work this out. I assume, however, that the psychological problems must be affecting the marriage in other ways, too. I guess they are also likely to bring problems even if you didn't have erectile dysfunction.
Best regards.
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