A
female
age
36-40,
*rincess Aunty
writes:Hello Cupid. I have a seriously problem. I am stucked up between my best friend and my boyfriend.i once had a facebook account. However once i met my better half he told me to cancel it. i did it since i did not feel the need to keep an account there at that time.Now i have a friend who is a boy. i have known him long before i met my bf. My friend, lets call him X, he was in love with me. X proposed me and i refused his proposal. Also when my bf came into my life, i somehow got detached from X.It has been 1 year or more since i have met my bf. now he has gone abroad and has given me the permission of creating an account on facebook for the time being however he has strictly forbidden me from uploading my photos there. i respected his decision and know whatever he is doing is for my well being since he loves me a lot, a lot and a lot. now ever since i have created that profile on fb, X has been constantly asking me to upload my photos there. i have always refused him. last time he asked me to upload i told him that someone won't like me uploading my photo there..on top of that i have promised that person i won't and i don't want to break that promise. he replied : ''he won't come to know even if you upload it unless you told him''. i said :- '' it would be as if am cheating him''. he exclaimed : ''will you put it or not?''. i was shocked the way he asked that and answered : '' no. how would you feel if your girl would cheat you'' then he said ok then bye. until then he has had no contact with me.can you guys please advice what i should do? i don't want to lose such a good friend like X nor do i want to cheat my bf!!!!!!!! please help!!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Sorry but X is not a good friend - he is just a guy who is in love with you and wants to see pictures of you. This is NOT friendship! If he was a friend, he would have kept in contact with you regardless of your boyfriend, and would want you to be happy with your boyfriend.
So please stop thinking he is a "good friend" - he has not been a friend at all to you. He just wants to ruin your relationship with your partner so he can have you all to himself - now is that the way a friend behaves? I think you know as well as I do the answer to that is no.
X loves you, he wants you for himself. This is not friendship! Friendship is wanting your friend to be happy no matter what, being there for them when they need you, talking, enjoying each other's company and having fun together.
But in your case, you barely even speak to each other anymore so clearly you are not friends, and X never wanted to be your friend anyway - he just wanted you to be his girlfriend.
So now is the time to stop pretending that you are friends with X, or that you ever will be friends with him. Leave him alone, he needs to move on and get over you, and stop trying to mess up your relationship. You just need to focus on your relationship and leave X alone, you are not losing anything by not talking to him anymore.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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