A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay here it goes! i am just wondering if you people can help me find ways to make our relationship stronger? i am a jealous person and i try so hard not to be! i think im getting better and i am just a open person where i talk about what bothers me! i just feel like lately we have become really distant its like we can't make time for us anymore and we barely get to see each other! how can i make him feel the way he used to about me! i just want that back can you please help me! i want him to give me the attention that i used to get he used to love me alot now im not so sure! i prolly pushed him away some so i guess what im asking is what do i do to make him fall back in love with me? i just want things like they used to be! i know they say just figure out what he fell in love with but i don't know!! please help me i don't want to lose him and i just want things better
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Your jealousy is a seperate issue from the one where you want to "make" your relationship better.
First off jealousy is about lack of trust and insecurity, now your boyfriend may be playing mind games with you so you become jealous, I don't know, there is not enough information.
One of the things that pushes young men away is a controlling girlfriend, words like tell me how to "make" our relationship better suggest that you may suffer from being a little over controlling....you can't make anyone do anything especially want to be with you more or treat you like they used to or anything else.
Try not worrying so much about what your boyfriend is thinking or doing and put your focus more on you and your goals and what kinds of things you like doing on your own without him....in other words, keep your own life or his is going to lose interest in you....guys don't want to be the focus of your life, they want to be part of your fabulous life instead. He isn't responsible for your happiness, and he doesn't owe the level of intensity in your relationship that you had in the beginning. Relationships go through stages, the first part is all about attraction, infatuation and lust...the second part is about attachment, which is usually where the masks you wear start to come off and you start seeing some of your faults and who the person really is and not what you imagined them to be....it is less intense but usually much sweeter....so roll with it and develop your friendship, not look for the romantic things and intensity of your new relationship, it isn't real after all, it is just the first blush of love.
A
female
reader, Chelle.x  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Hi. Im quite a jelous person too, I try real hard not to be but sometimes I just can't help it. By what you said I don't think you have anything to be jelous over. Do you think he's cheating on you ? or is it just the distant thing ? Try and do things that you used to do when you first got together. Show him that your still the same girl he fell in love with. Tell him how you feel and let him know how much you love him and don't wana lose him. Im sure he's still in love with you. You've probably jus drifted apart a little bit.
I Hope everything works out for you .. x
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A
female
reader, tammeirra +, writes (1 July 2009):
This is a key figure in nearly all relationships. U need to sourt out ur jealousy insecurities and figure out why you feel the need to be jealouse. Has for ur relationship even if the past is good memmories try to make new good memmories by expressing to him where you stand in the relationship if he doesnt respond its time to let go of what u held in da past and either give him space or work through together what u need to do, cause we all know u aint gna waste ur time wid a gut dats not even going to work...so make it work
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