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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,back in december, i met this guy (we'll call him steve) who i ended up becoming friends with benefits with from around the middle of january to the middle of march. we would hang out pretty much every chance we got, things would get pretty steamy, and it was something that we both enjoyed quite a bit. he's not really the relationship type of guy, but i'm definitely the relationship type of girl, and he knew that. then, toward the end of march, he gave my number to one of his best friends (we'll call him mike) who was looking for a relationship as well, and the guy started texting me. we really hit it off, and we're actually starting to talk about dating. the thing is, steve keeps trying to get me to go back to our little friends-with-benefits thing. i keep turning him down, because even though mike and i aren't actually dating yet, we're pretty close to it, and i don't want to do something like that to him. plus, i know that if he was messing around with some other girl, i would be pissed. steve keeps telling me that mike would never know (and that no one else would ever know, either), but the thing that gets me is that I would know. and regardless of the fact that mike and i aren't actually together yet, i really like him, and i want to stay faithful to him. i would feel soo guilty if i messed around with steve...even if it was only "just one more time" the way he keeps saying it would be. my main question is, should i tell mike about this??? i mean, i don't want to drive a wedge between the two of them, because they're pretty much best friends, and i know that it sucks to lose your best friend. at the same time, though, i kind of feel guilty for NOT telling him about it. what should i do???
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (5 April 2011):
At this point, I don't think you should tell Mike. I think you should tell Steve to stop making passes: tell him to remember that HE set the 2 of you up, that you are interested in dating his BEST FRIEND, that you think his best friend is interested in you, and that from this point forward, all you want is to be friends. And tell him that if he makes a pass at you again, you WILL tell his friend. I think it's great that you feel guilty (really shows you have strong morals), but you and Steve are not really dating yet, so I don't think you have to worry quite yet. But you definitely have to worry if you don't get Steve to start backing off. Just be careful though, in case Steve decides he wants to drive you and Mike apart (hopefully he's a decent guy and wouldn't do that, but the fact that he won't leave you alone about having another go is a red flag).
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